Hip Hop Forum

4bars in an hour keystyles
Punch drunk you can choose topic for the battle hereafter

check-mate

-- Tue Feb 08, 2011 7:23 pm --

no master of battles, hell take a lance to the heart/
ill snap nep-leon so hard ill leave him bone-a-parte//*
c'mon dude ya avvy got aviator goggles but i dont no why/
rocket up your arse is the only time you'll reach for the sky//
see your like the french, always act like the big gun/
but when it comes to buisness, you always duck and run//
4 defeats,and stepping to D your fighting a lost cause//
like the penisular, the UK wins these nepleonic wars//**


*nepleon bonaparte, french military leader and emperor of france in 17th18th century.

** the penisular wars was between france vs uk spain n portugal during the time of nepleonic wars wich he lost.

voted on orf vs sacred ill edit another one in soon

-- Tue Feb 08, 2011 8:15 pm --

uve had over an hour ill give ya another 30mins then im gunna take win, if u make rules stick to them king nep mate

ima split this kid like in the streets into a 4way intersection//
i'll call the traffic to teach you how to spit fact not deception//

boy my raps is sick i only dish out lyrical gangerine infections//
ima kill this cat so easy like the push of a button for lethal injections//

theres no exception keep writing on the chalk board King Neps the best when you at school detention//
you got a record of one to zero so me to win so theres no question//

yo fake impression from yo avatar shows you destant to fall//
cause when i spit you lost an left for dead like the kid in monsters ball//

-- Tue Feb 08, 2011 10:28 pm --

sorry mate got a phone call in between my spit

votes are open

up over topical battle

Punches 1
Personals/Name flip 1
Flow 1
Wordplay 1
Multi's 1
total=5


Deception
no master of battles, hell take a lance to the heart/
ill snap nep-leon so hard ill leave him bone-a-parte//*
Wordplay/.5, Personal/.5, flow/1, punch/.5, total 2.5/5
c'mon dude ya avvy got aviator goggles but i dont no why/
rocket up your arse is the only time you'll reach for the sky//
personal/1, flow/1, punch/1, total 3/5
see your like the french, always act like the big gun/
but when it comes to buisness, you always duck and run//
flow/1, total 1/5
4 defeats,and stepping to D your fighting a lost cause//
like the penisular, the UK wins these nepleonic wars//**
flow/1. personal/1, punch/.5, total 2.5/5

I felt as if some of these lines were worded better, the punch could have been more effective. For example "rocket up your arse is the only time you'll reach for the sky//", as apposed to saying "not even with a rocket up ur ass would your reach the sky" or something or other. The thought behind it is dope, but the punch fell weak. "see your like the french, always act like the big gun/ but when it comes to buisness, you always duck and run//", <- Not only was this an open/general punch, but i felt it was more filler than actual punch. As for your last line, i tried as many accents as i could poorly imitate, and still couldn't rhyme "cause" and "wars". Not versed enough in the UK accent i guess. BTW, im not very history savvy, but is Napoleon, the same guy your talking about, just spelled different lol? Total 9/20


King Nep
ima split this kid like in the streets into a 4way intersection//
i'll call the traffic to teach you how to spit fact not deception//
personal/1, wordplay/.5,multies/.5 total 2/5
boy my raps is sick i only dish out lyrical gangerine infections//
ima kill this cat so easy like the push of a button for lethal injections//
Wordplay/.5, total.5/5
theres no exception keep writing on the chalk board King Neps the best when you at school detention//
you got a record of one to zero so me to win so theres no question//
personal/.5, mulites/1, total 1.5/5
yo fake impression from yo avatar shows you destant to fall//
cause when i spit you lost an left for dead like the kid in monsters ball//
punch/1, total 1/5

Well man, "ima split this kid like in the streets into a 4way intersection//" had some redundant information, like a street, like a 4 way intersection. You should have scripted out the street portion, although i know you did it to rhyme with teach, which read forced, so wasn't worth it. Some of your lines are way stretched, which makes the flow impossible to capture, and did you mean "destined"; "yo fake impression from yo avatar shows you destant to fall//"?. And this line makes no sense to me: "you got a record of one to zero so me to win so theres no question//. Total 5/20



All in all fellas, not bad, but not necessarily good either. Spelling, wording, and punches is where both fell short. None the less, a loser must be chosen. MVGT: Deception.

1-0

cheers for voting PD

Im Gunna Have To Give Deception A CAT Sweep On This, Came With Better Flow,Wordplay,Punchlines

2-0 cheers for voting orf

-- Fri Feb 11, 2011 5:13 pm --

uppin for votes, leave the name of what you want feeding and ill RTF

Cat sweep to Deception. Some of the punches were weird but Nep came too straight forward as usual. Nep also needs to work on flow. That third bar was a mess in all aspects.

+1 Deception

Catsweep to Deception

Just had a better flow, scheme and was solid all around.

mod add a victory, 4-0 KO

Thread closed and records updated.


Deception wins KO.