Hip Hop Forum

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/fallin-vt20577.html

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/warning-vt20560.html

^^^^gave feed 2 those 2^^^^
______________________________________________________
chorus:(I imagine it being sung w/some acapella)
when everything youve ever knew,....was just a lie
then the only thing you wanna know....is the reason why

If misery loves company,then I guess were in business/
you know its...getting bad,when your the only one on your hitlist//
you see I....can't lie,now that my burdon is truth//
my perspectives have shifted>I'm on the verge of murdering you//
I know it hurting me too,all this talk with reflections//
if these mirrors could talk,would they mock my expressions//
or stop me when I ask,...gridlocking these questions//
when all I seek is an answer,because I forgot the suggestions//
of...how to live....better yet of how to give a shit//
about the world that surrounds me,and every moment Im living in//
you see I would have done this sooner,but I've been chasing dividends//
kinda like the way a womans sought,by the hunt of many men//
it ain't a front Im giving in to what they call an inner child//
even though the ignorant would probably call me a "pedophile"//
am I sick and twisted,so called mentally unstable//
I know I dont wanna live a lie so i put this on the table//

(I am kinda drunk so I know this could have been keyed better but I felt like writing and I think there are some decent lines in there but please give feed....thx)

-- Sun Feb 13, 2011 2:23 am --

also if anyone wants to roll off this feel free

first off thx 4 the feed
and also i like your linesthe flow is nice and smooth
the rhmyes r sick to bro yo tht mirrors mockin your expressions part was so put together like i saw a visual of what u ment
keep writin....peace....

[ Post made via Mobile Device ]

I know it hurting me too,all this talk with reflections//
if these mirrors could talk,would they mock my expressions//

Out of your whole drop this was the best line you had. I would scrap the rest and think of a concept to go with your title. A decent read for a beginner, but I think you're more capable than that.

This was an ok piece, didn't really hit me as deep
for the most part it seemed like you were tryna keep the rhyme goin'
which is cool, but with a hook like that, you need to get deeper
and really bring out what your tryna say
that's what really makes a song more listenable
if all components are complimenting each other
you know what I mean, either way a nice lil' piece
keep writing my dude!

well like I said I was drunk......thx for the honest feed I appreciate it