Hip Hop Forum

I see what a demon is, a composed figure with ribs
Not to be broken down, evaporate, or disappear
Born with a scorched heart, camouflaging with his peers
His iris stays dry, but inside he's full of tears
Back home he lyes in his bedroom seduced
Confused his families in danger what should he do
Produce aims relax, and examine every target
Until a big idea starts to dawn upon him
See I love my people, for some reason the D.E.M.O.N.
A doubted effortless man, obnoxious to the needy
Depicts others into disbelieving lies
Pulling em down, beneath the trees and fungi
To one kind of habit, which is madness inside
Capitalize truth, and get rid of it alright
If you don't, the surprise will be obvious and blatant
Another person in the system with a dream who never made it

Most of it was pretty cool, if vague. Some of it was worded quite weirdly, though. Here are a few examples:

Produce aims relax, and examine every target

Depicts others into disbelieving lies

Those just kinda threw me off when they popped up. I'd just say watch how you use the words you're using, other than that, pretty cool. Keep posting.

This seemed very poetic for the most part
the descriptive pieces are nice...
but you have to get more detailed to draw attention
and while doing so I like to read more
it may not work for most people who feed around here
but at the same time for someone like me it does
nice piece though, keep doin you!

Thanks everyone if you were to hear me spit this live, that weird cadence in your head wouldn't be so weird, but yeah lol....