Hip Hop Forum

NoVeL wrote:I was given a choice, born with a purpose, liftin' my voice, battlin' violence,

shatterin' silence, 'pullin' my strings', fabricate violins,

passin' away, killin' my flesh, life in the spirit, like you can hear it, nice in appearance, disciple of merits,

Holy Bible givin' me rights, "The Light" decidin' my clearance, the finest despite my epilogue,
Nice with the rhymes, like usual. I will admit though, "fabricating violins" seemed a bit forced. I will also admit i like the connection you gave me between pulling strings and violins
here I am till the end, Jesus Christ there's no death in God, warrior of souls, I'm a go for the reptuar,

I'll drop a 'bomb on em', blow beliefs and no I don't mean it for the metaphor,

skeptical, mines subliminal, criminal, try ridicule, invincible cuz God stepped into the interlude,

minimal, slight syllables, I'll finish you without an interview,
The rhyme scheme is on point but it feels as though a lot of what you were trying to convey fell through the cracks in order to complete rhymes.
killin' these devils within the Holy Ghost, wed principles, critical, invisible,

fightin' gainst what's spiritual, the bad, the good, the one, the only,

the past, the hood, the craft, the phonies, it's rap, you should, step back, but slowly,

the annointin's on me now, breakin' down strongholds, city towers hit the ground, what remains is charcoal,
i will say "fightin' gainst what's spiritual, the bad, the good, the one, the only, the past, the hood, the craft, the phonies, it's rap, you should, step back, but slowly," is fucking sick. Simple, but exact. Favorite part so far.
sharp mold, God's 'creative in his image', and a hard flow will body a demon, as graphic as seeing,

someone impaled with a crossbow, in the torso, consuming flames will eat the corpse slow, of course though,

the departed will be a 'lost soul', unless they got the word, you know the spoken the word, the truth is all you heard,

the future ain't the curb, the music's in the third gear, a smart ear, would conclude and put him first,
Im feeling the rhyme scheme here more than earlier in the piece. Lines are a bit long, but it still flowed nicely.
before they see a hearse, if that ain't the worst, before they leave this earth, they'd be leavin' cursed,

smokin' gravestones, all concealed in dirt, I'd rather hailstones, hit a mis-leadin' church, the bishop preaches first,

I'm a clue the last, spirtual baptism, go on an take a bath, the beat was flatline, I'm on to greener grass,

see you at halftime, we'll speak at sunday's mass
Dope closer, and a nice delivery on enlightenment. Overall a good drop man, nice to see you come around man.