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NO TOMMORow BY J STEEL,WRITTEN AND RECORDED,HERES A VERSE FR

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:21 am
by Jsteel
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-- Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:23 am --

A STORY LINE OF a WRITTEN dat I RECORDED ... VERSE A shadow of everythings your world,high tides swept in like greedy churches ,sharks below the surface ,the darknes stirs,a black-hole ,his heart of stone ,the lost person CONTINUED ยป

-- Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:26 am --

sinks with the weight of his burden,hides behind thin shields,fear lurking,it atacks his goals like an unfair referee,walking around like another clone patient ,lost mentally.Tryta see tomorow instead,looking for bread in todays reality mazes.continued....

-- Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:29 am --

his futures holow,no exageration,a barrior collides with his thought like rap and a government on it with an abolishment law,his forced ,to be lower than all,like hell,scorched so bad hes in the mind of a villain yall,only livin in the present,continued

Re: NO TOMMORow BY J STEEL,WRITTEN AND RECORDED,HERES A VERS

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:35 am
by Jsteel
he has a gift though, a beggar,making ends meet like a cir-cle,no time for future brain storms,right now on earth he got too much rain pouring,living for today,lifes amplified,the silent nights,he cant sleep ,continued

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-- Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:49 am --

The devils force,like jason on speed dial,calls em up through the drug stuff revived for the seconds,but then back to the same height,in the same place,suicide but too scared to drop off life,in him theirs stil a fight but for now on the same trial,continu

-- Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:51 am --

future dark,2day got enough,no tomorow ,no prime time... some of the wordz may not sound lyk dy rym,bt do wn i rap dm,i slant em

-- Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:51 am --

future dark,2day got enough,no tomorow ,no prime time... some of the wordz may not sound lyk dy rym,bt do wn i rap dm,

-- Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:51 am --

future dark,2day got enough,no tomorow ,no prime time... end some of the wordz may not sound lyk dy rym,bt do wn i rap dm,

Re: NO TOMMORow BY J STEEL,WRITTEN AND RECORDED,HERES A VERS

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 5:57 am
by 32neilz
Nice bro, that's deep, no the sort of stuff I'm into but good job man

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Re: NO TOMMORow BY J STEEL,WRITTEN AND RECORDED,HERES A VERS

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 7:09 am
by Jsteel
tankz brah

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Re: NO TOMMORow BY J STEEL,WRITTEN AND RECORDED,HERES A VERS

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 8:04 am
by Grim
this was straight..some good wording and solid concepts

Re: NO TOMMORow BY J STEEL,WRITTEN AND RECORDED,HERES A VERS

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 8:04 am
by Moneymaker
Its good u need to put it all together

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Re: NO TOMMORow BY J STEEL,WRITTEN AND RECORDED,HERES A VERS

Posted: Sun Apr 10, 2011 10:44 am
by Tha Dark Prince
Yeah bru ye gotta make shit easy to read, itz a bit complicated as is and will put off readers, start a new line after every bar structure shit properly thatz all u need

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Re: NO TOMMORow BY J STEEL,WRITTEN AND RECORDED,HERES A VERS

Posted: Sat Apr 16, 2011 4:53 am
by Ted Bundey
It has no flow but besides that it was good

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