Hip Hop Forum

someone choose a topic.... please make it interesting

8-10 bars.... whatever it takes

due in 24 hrs after topic and checks

house rules

check...
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/jayzo ... ml#p176575
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/jayzo ... ml#p176638
Topic by jayzon_black= Conquering split personalities

check,lets get a good topic yall, http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/eckst ... 22661.html

How about one of these:

* Reflection of life on your death bed
* Conquering split personalities (internal struggle)

OR (one fun one)

* Purple People Eaters and Cheeseheads

Number 1 or 2....

But I like the split personality one best.... The first one just seems to easy to me... Not to mention I kinda did that topic in my last battle

i like number one,

You are now reading THE E FILES.... duh duh dun........

the year... unknown
the place... its deceiving

Ill start by stating...
statements proceeding are true... names have been changed to blanket the heathens... thank u for reading
Fred wakes in a chair shakin an bleedin.. an old Jamaican bitch screaming throwin some sort a dust around
he hears other sounds a mans voice he stands.. cant run hes bound.. it says " Im a put dis guy unda ground"
she says "Greg u cant gun um down so put that toy aside... this time we need to destroy this boy from inside"
this guy Fred.. he cries trys to get free.. stops at 7 tries.. wrist bleedin scared.. he fears tonight hes gonna die
he plea's and cries he tries ta yell but he aint breathin right.. instead he urinates and hes losing his bowels
after what seems like days but could a been hours, a guy wearin a hood on his face puts um in the shower
he holds um an hits till hes bruised and broken while the witch brews a potent voodoo potion.. on a range top
he tightens.. hes frightened.. veins pop she injects.. it hurts then pain stops.. instant death.. brain off

wait....

he wakes up in a bed.. in Jamaican slang the nurse asks the patients name he mumbles it.. greg
she turns to the doctor and says hes cured "the other is dead!" daym... all this shit happened up in his head

I wake up,im SHIT-PISSED,from another dream i was dismissed,
deadly buisness, im LIGHTING Up TREES more than yall do on Christmas
Now im Calm,Relaxed,Mentals-at-ease,self visions more Gentle-than-Seas
visuals,i see Nicki bend to her Knees,she knows im smoother than the End-of-the-Cheese
Bitch! Im blastin guns,attackin Run,Bashin Sons,Jackin Numb,Smashin Nuns
Askin Rum,Captain hums,now im Crashin Sum,basterds son,Slashing Ones, HAVING FUN!
Everyday I feel great,i kill hate,Fast Meal,Grillled Steak,
I never feeled-fake,me? i got lyrics that made more Nirvana than Pills Make,
Ready for the Damn Slaughter! your Hells there,I am Hotter,i kick more balls than man's-soccer,
you not high as me,i land-bothered,im sicker than H.i.v. my Dick Be in yo Girl more Than Water
The Beauty of Ladies, Amaze Me, it aint Crazy,waiting,i never let it phase-me
while we all GROW amongst my styles fresher than Daisie's
Witness,Sickness,Swiftness,Quickness,i Flow more than Shrimps Piss
i Whore-ur-friends,i Score! i win!,Adore The Grim!decapitation of ya mom,n she still on my dick more than-skin
Diminish Lust, forever i live in love,i give the love,
thats harder than having to commit to trust,
Here for Centuries of Exile,Already nastier than a rotting flesh sex-pile,
Lady Gaga told me i dress-wild,so I rape hoe,then her pussy Ate whole,now theres a Freestyle

Yeah um that was a cool piece you dropped blake unfortunately it wasn't a very good story way off topic imo
Light your imagery and depth was A1 excellent topical MVGT enlightend

[ Post made via BlackBerry Curve ]

DAYUM LIGHT!!!!!!!!!

First, out of the two you the one who actually followed the script. Not only that but the story was fuckin brilliant.

Second, the hits were timely, pleasing, and on point. Your topical game is second to none from what I read on the boards so far.

Blake, yo I have to give it to you with punches but you really didn't follow the topic. If this was a battle and I was judging off that criteria, you came harder with the hits, but because this is topical, there isn't a base to stand on.

MVGT: Light

Imagery: Enlightend

Storytelling: E

Vocab: Downs

Multis: E

Flow: E


Vote: Enlightend

Honestly I felt that Downs you would go off of topic just so that you could complete a multi. Really took away from your attempt to set Imagery when you try to just throw in random topics. I thought that you tried to get more of a reaction on the description but by you going off of topic it pretty much negated the attempt. Going off topic really hurt the strength of your verse. E this is was a really nice piece. Flow, Storytelling, and Imagery werre therre. I really didnt feel like either had any extreme vocab but for E's verse it wasnt really needed. You got a nice picture anyways. You had a few pretty nice multis. Blake had more but because they didnt really correlate with the story they really lost their effect.

Thanx for the well explained vote calico but this site has a no crew vote rule....

Yeah I had a feeling that might be an Issue but I didnt see it in the Beginning so I just tried anyways. Good Luck to both of you

catsweep to light...

well i guess multies and structure go to blake...

but mvgt enlightened

k.o

[ Post made via Windows Smartphone ]