Hip Hop Forum

Rules
7 Bars/14 lines (MAX)
Due 96 hours(4 days) from time of this thread
First to 5 votes (3-0=ko/4-1=tko). Each day late is 1 against you
Voting must use categories with brief explanations.

Categories
-Storytelling
-Flow
-Creativity
-Rhyme scheme
-Metaphors & Similes
-Consistency
-Impact


- Calico -'s topic is "Just lost my last chance"

Defiance's topic is "Hero or Villain?"

check check



HERO OR VILLAIN TOPICAL

am i the hero or a villain, a walking contradiction
fighting darkness with the light the killer or the victim
choices followed by decisions, to be good or to be evil
thinking as i'm saving people that the truth can be decietful
forming a costume with a needle, sewing pain into the threads
i've fought for justice once but now the devils in my head
i'll be reble till im dead, fuck a side kick i want henchmen
i'd plant a bomb on captain planet just to grab the worlds attention
heros will be mentioned, but its the villain who writes our history
thats why i'm making threats spilling blood to spite devinity
was once a ritechous entity, till i was consumed by the thrist
the good guys ll' finish last thats why i'll finish first
here to terrorize the earth, all will be dark no signs of light
not your common villain im killing heros for the crimes of life

She left an hour ago…the situation I caint really remember but my places is left in ruins,
Gain conscience from my blackout of rage…“Father and Daughter” yet how do we always do this?

I always dodged responsibility and now she is doing the same..but I have let her down caint even begin,
She doesnt trust me anymore as I see her wasting her life away and its like I see myself doing it again.

Got the phone call every parent always fears….Sounds of the screaming back in forth is all I hear,
Lifetime outlined between drugs and beer…heartbreak followed that never washed away with tears.

She got in a Wreck now unresponsive I know my own lifestyle has now ruined hers,
But now my Ex-Wife calls with the grave words…we should all be together not alone hurt.

I thought about the times she showed me she cared but I didnt get the meaning and now she is grown,
The Darkness of our situation crept up on me but nothing that compares to the current status of her own.

Things I never told her rushed through my head…she is dying…they must be said to her now,
Rushing to the hospital I had to clear the air...and my true feelings before her final bow.

Her Mother was there holding her hand…told Me that I was too late…but a gift found in her ‘Caddy’,
They found a picture of us when she was young written on the back “I will always love you Daddy.”

I just Lost my Last Chance.

Storytelling: Calico
Flow:Defiance
Creativity:Calico
Rhyme scheme:Defiance
Metaphors & Similes:Tie
Consistency:Tie
Impact:Calico

Vote: Calico

Defiance did have a smoother read and probably sounds better on audio then calico's would, however as far as the topical goes calico edged defiance, an unexpected approach and a good story, defiance kinda stayed within the boundaries and made a choice, which was more expected so im giving it to calico for the originality and impact

-Storytelling-TIE
Its tie b/c both did each topic justice, while id say the story behind Calicos is more heartfelt, this the type of double topics that is really goin to depend on what the individual votes prefer more, sentimental stories or gritty stories. Both did well.

-Flow= DEF
-Creativity= CAL
-Rhyme scheme=DEF
-Metaphors & Similes=TIE
-Consistency=TIE
-Impact= CAL

Really was a pretty even match up i think, im really feelin DEFs flow but the impact from Cals story of the topic was still pretty good. Its a toss up but ima throw in tie breaker category:

ENJOYMENT: Cal, since its a topical i felt the topic was pretty well done with the daughters death.

Good bout on both parties.

flow: def
storytelling: def
vocab: cali
creativity: def
consistancy: tie
impact: cali
enjoyment: def

both were good reads, but imo def had this.

mvgt def

[ Post made via Windows Smartphone ]

vocab is not a category, and.. enjoyment is not one either, i removed enjoyment since everyone has different topics and some topics would appeal more to some then others so that would throw the balance off...

regardless pest's vote seems to be clear, same with anti's seeing that creativity and impact are more important than how well you can rhyme and why he enjoyed it more

random bs was deleted as well..


2-1 Calico leads,

calico - i felt like i was there lol good writing!
the story telling was great, just needs more flow..but the closer was pretty entertaining.
def - had more better diction, no doubt and better rhyme scheme
but the substance was not a great. it seemed u were more focused on rhyming than the topic itself. like you listed a bunch of words that related to the topic and tried to rhyme it without considering the direction of your flow.

Its all about how you direct your readers into the topic...

-Storytelling= Cal
-Flow= Def
-Creativity= Cal
-Rhyme scheme= def
-Metaphors & Similes= n/a
-Consistency= cal
-Impact= cal


mvgt Cal

DEFIANCE:

am i the hero or a villain, a walking contradiction
fighting darkness with the light the killer or the victim
choices followed by decisions, to be good or to be evil
thinking as i'm saving people that the truth can be decietful
forming a costume with a needle, sewing pain into the threads << SICK LINE
i've fought for justice once but now the devils in my head
i'll be reble till im dead, fuck a side kick i want henchmen
i'd plant a bomb on captain planet just to grab the worlds attention << LOL DOPE
heros will be mentioned, but its the villain who writes our history
thats why i'm making threats spilling blood to spite devinity
was once a ritechous entity, till i was consumed by the thrist
the good guys ll' finish last thats why i'll finish first << NICE
here to terrorize the earth, all will be dark no signs of light
not your common villain im killing heros for the crimes of life

OVERALL, I LIKED THIS. GOOD LINES. GOOD READ. NICE JOB




CALICO

She left an hour ago…the situation I caint really remember but my places is left in ruins,
Gain conscience from my blackout of rage…“Father and Daughter” yet how do we always do this?

I always dodged responsibility and now she is doing the same..but I have let her down caint even begin,
She doesnt trust me anymore as I see her wasting her life away and its like I see myself doing it again.

Got the phone call every parent always fears….Sounds of the screaming back in forth is all I hear,
Lifetime outlined between drugs and beer…heartbreak followed that never washed away with tears.

She got in a Wreck now unresponsive I know my own lifestyle has now ruined hers,
But now my Ex-Wife calls with the grave words…we should all be together not alone hurt.

I thought about the times she showed me she cared but I didnt get the meaning and now she is grown,
The Darkness of our situation crept up on me but nothing that compares to the current status of her own.

Things I never told her rushed through my head…she is dying…they must be said to her now,
Rushing to the hospital I had to clear the air...and my true feelings before her final bow.

Her Mother was there holding her hand…told Me that I was too late…but a gift found in her ‘Caddy’,
They found a picture of us when she was young written on the back “I will always love you Daddy.”

I just Lost my Last Chance.



Storytelling: Calico
Flow: Defiance
Creativity: DEFIANCE
Rhyme scheme: Defiance
Metaphors & Similes: DEFIANCE
Consistency: TIE
Impact: Calico

THIS WAS A GOOD BATTLE. I ENJOYED BOTH VERSES. CALICO'S GOT A LITTLE BORING TOWARDS THE END WHICH HURT HIM A LOT. I LIKED THE METAPHORES DEF USED. PRETTY CREATIVE THERE. DEF'S VERSE KEPT ME MORE ENTERTAINTED.

VOTE: DEF

flow: def
storytelling: def
vocab: cali
creativity: def
consistancy: tie
impact: cali
enjoyment: def

vote- def

3-3 keep the votes coming in

maaaan.

not really feeling the different subjects but anyway,

imma break it down like this.

FLOW: DEFIANCE
STORYTELLING: CALICO
CREATIVITY : DEFIANCE
RHYME SCHEMES: DEFIANCE
CONSISTENCY: DEFIANCE
IMPACT: DEFIANCE

I was really feeling def's verse compared to cal's. i liked the way def handled his. he always has nice rhyme schemes with multies and such. cali's verse jus felt too stretched. iunno, im an audio guy so defiance's verse jus read better to me, which means i jus enjoyed it more.

mvgt: DEFIANCE

Im on a phone, so no copy and pasting for me

Storytelling: calico
Flow: def
Creativity: calico
Rhyme scheme: def
Metaphors & Similes: def
Consistency: tie
Impact: calico

Mvgt- calico

Both were some dope ass verses and defiance came with it, but calico told the better story in my opinion. So by fleas hair, calico gets my vote. Bit as I said before DOPE verse def.

[ Post made via Android ]

dammmn down to the wire!!!!!

HAHAH OHH SNAP!!!! this shits going deeep..like my meat in scotts mommy