Hip Hop Forum

Truly unruly, my mind gets so into this.
My eyes turn green from photosynthesis.
Siphon my ciphers about life and dirt.
Strive despite strife and channel the Earth.
Forests and pastures, oceans and mountains.
Fountains of youth hide the truth of my countenance.
My wishes and dreams flow like fishes in streams.
Revealing my feelings, absurd as it seems.
My thoughts turn to Mother: her perfect duality.
Night turns to dreams, my dreams to reality.
I watch trees grow with their roots burrowed deep
Clenched wooden fists, through the soil they creep.
Vines climb high to view dusk on skyscrapers.
I pay time no mind and observe crumpled paper.
Buildings are toppled and ruins are left.
Life swells and overwhelms the smell of death.
There's hell in her breath and heaven as she exhales.
A gentle caress of her face as I set sail.
I push onward, she gives no resistance.
Leading me closer to the edge of existence.
A world of wonder awaits, What will l find?
Who will come find me when I'm lost in my mind?
Tossed through time, down a tunnel of numbers.
To wake up the beast that eternally slumbers.



All feed will be returned. Drop a link or just a name to your piece and I'll find it.

man.. I found this dope, creativity was ill, structure made it a fluent read and complimented the decent flow, but the content and concept makes this a really good written

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This was dope. I liked how everything came together, and you brought a certain order to the piece, while following along very well with everything you brought out with this one. The description and imagery were great, and went very well with the emotion you displayed. Nicely done. I enjoyed this piece alot. I'm surprised you arent getting more feed on this one.

This was a pretty dope lil drop, man. You stayed on topic consistently throughout and you had some catchy rhyme schemes going on in it too. I felt that your closing bars were the best, imo, they hit with a sweet note that completed this enjoyable read. Stay up, bruh.

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/a-ser ... 23866.html
(I'm only dropping a link for return feed cause you invited it, lol.)

I give credit and hype to this well written poetic expression.

Thanks a lot for the positive feed guys!

A very poetic feel with this...nice vibe...the beginning was dope
then it started picking up towards the middle
which made the whole flow of this jus seem soooo smooth
that litle short bar technique works well for you as well
you get a lot across in so little time...but still mold well...nice drop

Although this does have a nice poetic ring to it, I will be honest: Whats this really about? At first i thought your eyeballs, then what you use your eyeballs for, then i thought who is her? then your walking to the beast? Not bad, just alittle confused on direction. Besides that, dope shit Cow. This line above all i'll continue to recite to myself:

Who will come find me when I'm lost in my mind?

I'd rather people interpret it than me just tell you what it means to me. Maybe I will reveal that later.

i liked it... read more like a poem to me... short bars but didn't lack lyrical content... def feeling it man keep up...