Hip Hop Forum

COLLECTIVELY ILL, but they let you in, irrespective of skill
Obviously,alvin leads em in an their his mexican next of kin
Lets begin with K-panda,gay commander,asked him his opinion
Left it hours before he gave answers,save the banter
Enraged im here to plague u gays like aids.
Cancer,im Cancerous answer this does it bother you the fact That this rookies better than you amateurs
Try an fucking damage this
I throw hard punches im a walking talking hammerfist
Valorous,your talentless callousness means you require your
Entire crew to handle this,and still you aint challengers
Loon E Lou is your most talented,balance it
Your below average an alvins stamina still cant manage shit.

Kid killing hispanic faggots apparent just examine evidence
Instantly clear as soon as someone scans your members list
Lacking malevolence,smashing whacker competitors
Losing most ya battles coz your bars a slacking in relevance
Every one of your tracks are crap, scat in sediments.
Dead in regiments, i'll send your relatives my sentiments

i demolish haters,taken out your crew like i've abolished fakers,coz your not honest raters,your win/losses would not have been gotten if half your crew weren't moderators.
so reply back im full of rhymes,spit basics black an white,like my eyes are kuhlerblynd,i'll make illabo "rate"me whilst Kauwardly lion runs and hides,bring a hundred guys an i'll bolt through them like lightning in thundered skies,id ridicule every miniscule line that you devise, fuck TheOneYouHate im the one that you despise bringing you demise,"constantly striving for the best" is your motto so once again you's have lied.collectively ill is despised, what there lacking in skill their passion for rapping will hide but it doesnt mask or disguise, the fact that you guys couldn't rap if you tried.im not playing games im slaying gays,playing dames im not saying names, but thats why TheOneYouHates mother smells like mayonnaise.

oh yeah an just coz i didnt really say much about you Kuhlerblynd it looks like your a potential dick sucker in your profile pic man, thats why alvin allowed you in the crew it defenitely isnt based on your skill level.....

-- Mon Sep 19, 2011 2:51 am --

Why so serious

Ok loved the flow a lotta your personals missed but youre new as far as I know but it was cool I mean I liked it but them my homies so f you sucka jk goodluck maybe they wont respond

[ Post made via Android ]

THANKS FOR THE FEED.

Is this really a call out?

[ Post made via iPhone ]

not so much a "callout" more of an out an out diss.

pretty good i saw the word plague in there free promo lol but good shit man but im kinda curious on how this plays out with the peeps u dissed

lol, some of those punches were witty while most was sub par. i mean if your gonna go with a crew diss.. you got to come harder than that.. like way harder.. and structurely it was all over the place..

but the more you write battle/diss text style you'll get better

i think that last part was my favorite it flowed the best even with the paragraph style flow..

keep writting

Wun~

Ahhh alright. It was cute man

[ Post made via iPhone ]

your rhyme schemes were not complete. rappin half bars at time. okay vocab. weak impact. no wow factor. easy and predictable....
5/10

[ Post made via Windows Smartphone ]

I honestly liked this.. people just hatin lol

best ive seen from you dude i knew ud pick it up quick

why is this in the call out section???? shouldn't this be in Writtens????

-MOVED- By Me

-- Mon Sep 19, 2011 1:56 am --

[quote="Alvin":][color=#FF0000:]well it sucks lmfao[/color:][/quote:]

gotta love the honesty haha

thanks arv man, suck my dick pest!!!!

uh....


no

-- Tue Sep 20, 2011 5:49 am --

comeback kid wrote:
COLLECTIVELY ILL, but they let you in, irrespective of skill
Obviously,alvin leads em in an their his mexican next of kin
your structure here is sloppy. You should just ended it as

Collectively Ill is Irrespective of Skill why they LET YOU IN?/
Obviously Alvin Leads them and hes the Mexicans NEXT OF KIN//

The way you have it just sounds akward b/c the ending word is left in the middle...weird


Lets begin with K-panda,gay commander,asked him his opinion
Left it hours before he gave answers,save the banter
again same as before, OPINION/BANTER doesnt belong at the end of the bar b/c it makes the flow sound choppy and fragmented

Id been like:

"Lets begin with K-Panda known as the Gay Commander/
Fuck you and your opinion on your Lame Answers so Save The Banter//"


Enraged im here to plague u gays like aids.
Cancer,im Cancerous answer this does it bother you the fact That this rookies better than you amateurs
Try an fucking damage this
I throw hard punches im a walking talking hammerfist
Valorous,your talentless callousness means you require your
Entire crew to handle this,and still you aint challengers
Loon E Lou is your most talented,balance it
Your below average an alvins stamina still cant manage shit.
seeing a lot of "rhymes with THIS" but the flow here was better

Kid killing hispanic faggots apparent just examine evidence
Instantly clear as soon as someone scans your members list
Liked this bar, needa focus more on this style

Lacking malevolence,smashing whacker competitors
Losing most ya battles coz your bars a slacking in relevance
Every one of your tracks are crap, scat in sediments.
Dead in regiments, i'll send your relatives my sentiments
was aite, just tough talkin though aint really swingin punchs


i demolish haters,taken out your crew like i've abolished fakers,coz your not honest raters,your win/losses would not have been gotten if half your crew weren't moderators.
Your hardest line in your verse


so reply back im full of rhymes,spit basics black an white,like my eyes are kuhlerblynd,i'll make illabo "rate"me whilst Kauwardly lion runs and hides,bring a hundred guys an i'll bolt through them like lightning in thundered skies,
now youre not even bothering to make your bars just kinda ranting in rhyme format

id ridicule every miniscule line that you devise, fuck TheOneYouHate im the one that you despise bringing you demise,"constantly striving for the best" is your motto so once again you's have lied.collectively ill is despised, what there lacking in skill their passion for rapping will hide but it doesnt mask or disguise, the fact that you guys couldn't rap if you tried.im not playing games im slaying gays,playing dames im not saying names, but thats why TheOneYouHates mother smells like mayonnaise.
blah... wasnt feelin it

oh yeah an just coz i didnt really say much about you Kuhlerblynd it looks like your a potential dick sucker in your profile pic man, thats why alvin allowed you in the crew it defenitely isnt based on your skill level.....

-- Mon Sep 19, 2011 2:51 am --

In case you thought i was just hating, theres a break down of what i thought of this, looks keystyled to me.