Hip Hop Forum

something I've been working on, definitely a work in progress, not done at all, probably still have at least double what I've already wrote to finish. I have a beat in mind, which makes sense with the first 4 lines (which is why they're short) I'd appreciate some feedback. If you think it's shit, I want to know. Definitely not too proud to take some criticism.

Thanks,

Chase

It is this life, it is this struggle
It is to fall, It is to crumble
It is to get back up when you stumble
To make your presence known, To feel the ground rumble
Patience, Passion, Push the envelope till it falls
Better to die for something than live for nothing at all
So I’ll grab my soapbox so I can stand up tall
I’ll evolve, learn to fly before I know how to crawl
I’ll do it not for recognition, but a personal mission
For those who dare to speak the truth without requesting permission
For the proud few who stand as a defiant coalition
The ignition, the road block in the course to collision
I’ll find solace, find focus in the beat’s repetition
I’ll be enlightened diction written in the ink of cognition
Cause we’re slippin, spittin, pissin, on that faint apparition
Of hope, it’s a ghost, that seems to lack superstition
Through the pages of our lives a soulful story is told
As it unfolds, it enfolds all those left in the cold
Those anonymous souls, all for whom the bell tolls
Consoled, they find shelter in the hearts of the bold
It’s time to bear the cross, put a voice to our thoughts
Cause this loss is bankrupt with a terminal cost
Time to rescue the world; take it from the lost and found
Lyrical violence, kill the silence to restore the sound

still working on a hook

Dope. Nice flow with it. Jus bounced off the tongue nicely. Would make a dope audio

[ Post made via iPhone ]

been throwing this beat around
http://www.shadowville.com/122079/genre ... the-making

It is cool... loon was right... nice flow... a little simple but that's OK sometimes

thanks guys. yeah it's more simplistic, but I wrote it to that beat which is pretty straight forward. I haven't written in about a year, and have decided to get back into it, so complexity has admittedly been sort of an issue. That's kind of why I posted it on here, I just wanted some feedback one way or the other. I have some battle shit and some mainstream shit too, but I wanted to write something deeper, more meaningful, haha not that I'm looking too far into it. Anyway, appreciate the input.

This was an enjoyable lil read, man. You did your thing and it was nice. Flowed smoothly and displayed some attractive vocab. Keep it up.

Thanks man. If anyone's interested, I'll update occasionally as I finish. If not, I won't blow up the thread