Hip Hop Forum

1st two verses supposed to be for a collab originally. Wrote the 3rd one for shits and giggles and decided it was good enough to add. As usual, all feedback appreciated and returned.


So who's this lunatic sittin spewin out his wacky raps
About ripping out breast implants and playin hacky sack
I'm a fuckin crazy prick and you could never make me sick
Even with stories of your dad jerking over your baby pics
And I'm always tellin bitches to watch their tone of voice
Or I'll stick my dick so far in it'll change their tone of voice
YO, I lost my pointer finger at a Pointer Sisters show
After snortin blow, told Lohan that I tried to fist her ho
Then she bit me and I laughed like 'Can you fuckin taste her ?
She's so torn up I couldn't stimulate her with a taser'
Haha ... Life's a battle and I'm in a hurry to win it
If I get dirt on you then I'ma fuckin bury you in it
Some gangsta shit, yo but I ain't talkin reefah n guns
I'm sicker than a sextape with Latifah and Pun
Fuckin lock me up forever man I'm sick of this drama
I make more veggies than farms cause my dick inflicts trauma


Why this bitch won't fuckin suck my dick is bee-yond me
Then she opened up her mouth and told me 'pee on me'
Yo I'm a dirty dog, dirtier than fuckin Maine is
Or your daddy warmin up your pacifier in his anus
Heinous ! When I sit here crackin fienin for meds
And when I say I'm sick, yo I mean in the head
I dunno how I'm alive, but the battle's never won
I got so many screws loose I fuckin rattle when I run
So pass me the wine, I'll become an over dramatic mess
That's trying to drown out all the post traumatic stress
Yeah baby fix the bowl up and put the gauze in for me
And I'll use my dick to push in this dose of suppositories
Let's party all night and walk about the streets knockin doors
And I ain't talkin bout toys when I mention I'm 'rockin whores'
Cause I'm ready to smash pussies until my cock is sore
I finish verses with a bang so scuse me while I lock the door


'UH UH UH UH UH YEAH UH UH GOD !!!!!'



(EEEEEeeeeennnnnnncccccooooorrrrrrrrreeeeee !!!!!!!!!!)


I'll steal your fuckin girl and squirt my tool in her mouth
Till she's choking on my love juice and droolin it out
Fuck pullin it out, and the last time I went to 'fuck the world'
My dick came out in China, broke the hymen of a fuckin girl
Listen yo, criminally insane is what this dude ain't
I don't huff, some ass replaced my shaving foam with blue paint
I'm known to be violent when high and act invincible
But I'd only been drinkin beer when I attacked my principal
I still wish that I could punch out every single one of you
Till you see your fuckin swollen lips there in front of you
And I know it's been the longest while since you seen me
But I'm still writing 'off the wall' shit like the Simpsons TV

Haha. You DOMinated this. Your are disturbed. Very disturbed. Reminds me of some early brother lynch always talkin bout rippin up baby guts and talkin bout fuckin bloody wings. Iunno man i liked it tho for some reason. It had good flow in it all throughout. With some sick twisted notable lines as well. 3rd verse was good also man

[ Post made via iPhone ]

nothing real original. but the piece did flow- i wouldn't have minded the read if it had an originality to it. but seems like other pieces drop on the crazy tip.
It's not bad just wish it had some type of twist or some ish.

Good drop none the less... kinda crazy - flowed well - vocab was ehh ok, a little wordplay here and there - not bad, just wish it could have been more original if u get what i mean

1st Verse, Deffo some horror core elements there, as well as some comedic lines. I like the Lohan line, funny as fuck. The flow was nice, I like how you came at it with no give a fuck.

2nd Verse, Was funnier than the first. Had more "lol" lines in it, and also let me see that you're mentally disturbed, which is always a plus. Haha.

3rd Verse, Was for some reason my least favorite, but it was still cool. You kept on with the off the wall style that you showed in the previous two verses, not to say it grew stale on me, but I just like the first two better. More specifically, the first verse, which I felt ripped. Overall, I'd say this was a cool piece. Very entertaining, while disturbing. The type of stuff I like to read high for shits n giggles. I'd like to hear it, though. Stay up, bruh.

I'm sicker than a sextape with Latifah and Pun

fucking lol
other sick lines
I got so many screws loose I fuckin rattle when I run

And I ain't talkin bout toys when I mention I'm 'rockin whores'
Cause I'm ready to smash pussies until my cock is sore


Fuck pullin it out, and the last time I went to 'fuck the world'
My dick came out in China, broke the hymen of a fuckin girl



Dude this shit was cool..
Hard core with it, way to horror core it my dude

liked how it was kinda rapey.. but in a good way LOL

flow was hitting for the most part.. with consistent rhyme scheme
-Good punches thrown here and there too


keep dropping

Agreed ^

First verse had some nice horrocore plays. not to mention one of my favorite writing styles. But ya the whole thing flowed ILL. COntent was nice too nothing to write home about but either way a very effective written right here fam!!


1

I swear dude, you are some fucked up person lol. I liked the horrocore style you used, with an addition of some weird comedy. Good stuff man

Thanks for the feed guys 88 gimme a link to somethin you want me to comment on and Quix I'll vote in your battle with Arv once the verses are up.

Yh sure:
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/88sky ... 23320.html