Hip Hop Forum

his name was tim meadows he grew up in the ghetto
he liked smoking crack and watching hoes in stilettos
a troubled youth, that lies in the face of the truth
hes scared of the world outside so he shakes in his boots
addicted to the fast lane, money, hoes, clothes and the weed
he drinks til he sleeps paranoid of the foes that he keeps
hes slow when he breathes asthma lungs hacking flem
his moms a crack addict always out snagging men
never did well in class he'd say school was for suckers
skipping class smoking hash cuz rules are for busters
to cool so he'd hustle and always short and pinch the bag
he get caught by the cops an be quick to snitch an dash
he'd bitch than brag talking riches with flies in pocket
he dreams off success pressed an dressed in the finest office
denied the process for a chance at hitting it big
he Got a glock down the block for some filtered cigs
became a stick up kid putting guns in ribs for his scratch
he was detached walking the streets feeling mean an rash
he seemed to catch people at there most vulnerable
never honorable or honored amongst the common folk
til one day he got mixed in some gun play an caught lead
shot dead, for being young and dumb an a block head
nobody mourned the loss of his 15 year old light
This story isn't uniques just another page in the story of life

uhhmm yeah this was dope as fuck bro...no doubt
thru and thru you had me...i like these storyline types
of writtens..real in depth story with a imagery and not
overdoing the multi's

hes slow when he breathes asthma lungs hacking flem
his moms a crack addict always out snagging men
never did well in class he'd say school was for suckers
skipping class smoking hash cuz rules are for busters
to cool so he'd hustle and always short and pinch the bag
he get caught by the cops an be quick to snitch an dash
^^^^
One of my favorite parts but tbh the whole script was fire imo..

This was a sick piece, the way your working your series is nice
the ideas you keep bringing show the growth of your skill keeping yourself on your toes
the smooth usage of your flow keeps me reading and the way you put your story together is nice
really putting it down my dude, I'm feeling this because you really painted the picture nicely..keep writing my dude

Props on this piece! The only thing I could MAYBE say bad about it is that I didn't feel alot of emotion coming through the words as I read them... It kind of just seemed like you were simply telling a story, which is very possibly the aim you had with this, and it's very possible others won't agree with what I've said. Just the vibe I got, I guess... Anyhow, flow was on point, topic never wavered, and I really like how you didn't seem to have any concern with getting open and personal with this piece. I felt like I was absorbed in where the story was heading, and now I'll definitely be keeping an eye out to see what happens next and how the story develops. Good shit fam.

If you could peep my new piece, The Warm Up, it would be appreciated.

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/the-w ... 25282.html

[ Post made via iPhone ]

his name was tim meadows he grew up in the ghetto
he liked smoking crack and watching hoes in stilettos

Damn shame.. good opener

a troubled youth, that lies in the face of the truth
hes scared of the world outside so he shakes in his boots

word

addicted to the fast lane, money, hoes, clothes and the weed
he drinks til he sleeps paranoid of the foes that he keeps

Tough.. channeling Pac

hes slow when he breathes asthma lungs hacking flem
his moms a crack addict always out snagging men

smashing men maybe. cool bar either way

never did well in class he'd say school was for suckers
skipping class smoking hash cuz rules are for busters

sounds familiar

to cool so he'd hustle and always short and pinch the bag
he get caught by the cops an be quick to snitch an dash

damn shame he's snitching.. pinching the bag < nice visual

he'd bitch than brag talking riches with flies in pocket
he dreams off success pressed an dressed in the finest office

a talker huh lol

denied the process for a chance at hitting it big
he Got a glock down the block for some filtered cigs

for a carton of filtered cigs.. LoL

became a stick up kid putting guns in ribs for his scratch
he was detached walking the streets feeling mean an rash
he seemed to catch people at there most vulnerable
never honorable or honored amongst the common folk

Nice picture

til one day he got mixed in some gun play an caught lead
shot dead, for being young and dumb an a block head

Tight line..

nobody mourned the loss of his 15 year old light
This story isn't uniques just another page in the story of life


Good ending.. Keeping the theme going.. anyways this was pretty good man.
multi's, flow , imagery , realness.. story telling ability, all tied into this. Keep it up defiance