Hip Hop Forum

i was my fathers 3rd child tha 2nd son born/
my father couldnt take life my mom was a whore/
america tha meltin pot i came out raw/
im wat these streets made me my older brother raised me/
ive done played tha sideline that shit made me crazy/
syns a coverboy now fuck u pay me/
b4 i got on i was a runner/
wasnt makin money started lickin muthafuckers/
got my 1st ball i was a full time hustla/
got robbed no strap yo syn is a sucker/
it will nvr happen again there will nvr b another/
if u thinkin it try it ull nvr b discovered/
but on another note i got hooked on tha coke/
addicted supplyin but nvr goin broke/
1 went in tha baggy tha other up my nose/
got put on probation failed a urination/
sent straight 2 placement like fuck it imma improve my craft/
white n corny dude that could rap u jus had 2 laugh/
mom couldnt keep a steady place she gettin thrown on her ass/
pops turned fiene mom left tha city in tha end i had 2 leave/
i was only 15 when i moved 2 ut/
beef wit so many cuz i only spoke truthfully/
a city full of actors n a couple of em fooled me/
linked wit ckno now tha jungle rains fully/
but dnt let me get 2 far ahead/(repeats n fades wit beat)


cyan-never-know-vt25639.html
my-first-official-track-for-my-mixtape-vt25638.html

Ok... The overall picture is cool but I was put off by the following:

Your spelling and word usage displays a severe lack of intelligence.
Your subject crossovers are rough as hell... For example... "if u thinkin it try it ull nvr b discovered/
but on another note i got hooked on tha coke/". You could have come up with a better way than saying but on another note.
Also, the flow is a bit difficult to capture considering the syllable count.


The above is just my opinion. A lot of people type lyk3 dIs. I just don't like it and can't take the subject matter serious if I'm busy trying to brake high school code.
Like I said, subject cool, and it has a lot of pictures to be extrememly powerful, just some kinks to work out.

[ Post made via iPhone ]

i dig what you're saying far from a lack of intelligence but living in the era that we live in today you have to dumb it down for people to get not insulting anyones intelligence and about the crossover i'm talking to my listeners and i don't know about you but i do drift off into irrelevance and come back from that with on another note to continue my story i appreciate your points and critique just felt i had a right to explain my method

Although unconventional I can understand it. One thing I forgot to mention which I already fixed, is in the future when creating your subject title, please don't use profanity... Google picks up profanity in an unbenifical way.

[ Post made via iPhone ]

my bad i apologize