Hip Hop Forum

this is it, i'm sick of you/
sick of being ridiculed/
since middle school/
as far as breeding my genes/
are olympic/
while yours are the lil pool/
where kids piss and poo/
listen fool/
maybe my shits written/
but when your spittin/
your spittin drool/
how could u be more missing/
and miniscule/
ya chain hang low/
like a midgets jewels/
im 98.8 percent critiscist/
and a lil cruel/
your pitifull/
never would i pit a fool/
against someone as sick and crude/
my style is vile as bile/
yours is unoriginal like puke/
cuz its str8 ate and regurgitated/
mine you cant refer as racist/
your a perve perps hit the pavement/
your words are aimless/
hit a nerve, swerve, perspiration/
germans exterminatinatin/
fermentation/
my verbs and words hurt perferating/

this was decent it wouldn't be a very good diss though

you had some decent mutlis

and you kept a nice little flow going

i want to see something more solid from you though, that you spent a little more time to really understand how you are as an emcee

7/10

peace

first off, welcome to the site.

it was a decent lil diss. no real punch lines or anything like that, but it had a pretty nice flow. there were also a good amount of multis.

this is it, i'm sick of you/
sick of being ridiculed/
since middle school/

that would prolly be my favorite part i guess. toward the end, you picked up the vocab, which was good. but it kinda seemed like you were using better vocab, just to use it. it didnt always fit or really make sense.

but overall it was pretty good. stay up and keep droppin.

Welcome to the site man , please read this post its required before posting anything.
http://illestlyrics.com/board/post10268.html

thanks for the feedback everyone i look forward to peeping your work

i Thought it Was Trash ..
No Diss ..
i Juss Think it Coulda Been alot Better if U Gon` Diss Somebody ..
Step it Up Son ..

it wasn't trash.. and try read what the drunken jesus man wrote.. about creatin a verse and what to write about.. think it'll help u in the start.. then u can start elevate your lyrical skills..

keep it up!

here a link by the way the post I was talkin about

http://illestlyrics.com/illest/index.ph ... 32#more132