Hip Hop Forum

On My Way Boxin Deze Niggaz
Lyk Cashis Clay..Runin DAMN
Back Up Came/
Sack Bust Frame Nuts Atmosphere/
"MAD" Cops But I Dont Act Wid
Fear..Keep My Feet Goin
Action "GEAR"/
No One In Presence My
Senses Tension (Ask Ya Ears)/
Door Lock'd Da Axe Is Here
Fast N Clear Cash Is Near/
Robb Da Sto.. Life
Ayn A Party "POP UM HOMEZ"/
Rot Da Scope Sick Hits/
Knock Um Back 2 Hyroglificz
i'll Stay In Da "SKY" Hydro Big Hits/
Spit By No Gimmickz i'll Try N
Finish/ "Bars Closed"..I Bounced
Random "Figure" Bar Code/
Wrong Guy My Fate Is Chillen/
I Ayn Fallin Gravity "PHASE-Da-CEILIN"/
Taste Da Millionz... Caged Ayn
Me/My Team Lyk Bandana's B "Race Fa G's!!"/

It had a ghostface type of feel to it. It was a nice little read. I didn't get into the story much though.

Keep doing your thing though.

i like the rhyme scheme. keep on writin.

http://illestlyrics.com/board/important ... vt2163.htm

^read before postingl

As i said earlier hazard without leaving a vote link you wont get much feedback , its been psychologically proven. lol

this was pretty good..

i'll leave the same comment on this piece, you need vocab work, almost all your rhymes are forced and unatural

read the advice i posted in general discussion