Hip Hop Forum

this is the thiefs theme/
can't take the grief that this beef brings/
i can't rest in peace/
while the industry sleeps/
so im wishin em sweet dreams/
tellin em im intelligent/
while sellin em cd's/
leavin emcee's deceased/
allergic to wordsmiths like bee stings/
bring heat to these streets/
like i breathe steam/
crowds im sellin em out/
listen to the yells and the shouts/
of pre-teens/
thats every jesuit priests dream/
dont need a reciept/
i secrete bling/
and if you meet me youll be pleased/
im not stuck up my own ass like g strings/
love girls in capris jeans/
im glad we agree, capiche/
youll never be as vicous/
as k-i-d v-i-s-h-u-z be/

[CHORUS]
now i aint claimin to be nas or jay-z/
aint aimin for famous/
just for you to play me/
daily dont care about radio/
shows or ratings/
hate people who faker than saline/
or silicone/
unoriginal, you can be an individual/
but your still a clone/

its the return of the ruthless/
kid u went to school with/
known for his cruelness/
rhymes smoother than cool whip/
abusive, rude prick/
screwed views, crude, takin amusement/
in others misfortunes/
whether piss poor/
or rich with porsches/
kids with corvettes/
growin up i was too poor for porn/
or sex/
more less, i was isolated like a fortress/
goute without a doubt/
cuz im servin em raw beef/
my heart is harder than hard/
when it beats i bleed concrete/

[CHORUS]

im combustabile/
adjustible like car seats/
gettin to you is a far reach/
unless you start beef/
state of the art/
when i spar, my darts/
are speech/
if you narc/
you'll be marked meet/
im an animal, were wolf/
im part beast/

Nice I Lyke Da Structure Of Ya Verse

I liked most of it.

The choruses sucked though. It was like an extended amount of bars. So work on writing better choruses (don't feel bad I suck at them to).

I liked the first verse more. It seemed to have the most substance.

Overall. Good enough though. 7.8/10.

Keep doing your thing.

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