Hip Hop Forum

http://illestlyrics.com/board/post13358.html#13358

: Freeflo :

Strength Through My Veins Alderien Pumping Chancing-the-Game//
Fake Imitators Playing There Name While I'm Stuck back Glancing-The-Fame//
I'm Stuck with Fake People For There Rest of My Life Im Sick Of This Player-Hating//
No One Can Stop Me Elevating Till I'm Ready But For Now I'm Hear patiently-waitin/
I've got Rap In The Palm of my Hand Im Not Letting go For Now The-Bars-Are-Mine//
Earn Respect We All Got Time Think Straight and Even The Lowest- Stars-Will-Shine//
More Mind Control Then My Average age well… fuck the fags- and -bitches//
Born In The City I Was Considered Nothing Look at Me Now Im Hear From Rags-to-Riches//
I Get Goosebumps down my Back Filled with Pain And Suffer Tha heat melts-the-chills//
Nothing Can Beat Young Talent Its The Best Felling Knowing Ya 12 and your-Bringin-The-skills//

not too bad, could of been organized better. But a decent message put through thats easy enough to read.

The mutlis ain't too bad, but some seem a lil forced. And you try to label some that arn't even multis. Don't do that, its less appealing.

I dunno what to give it...I guess since I havn't read much from you, about a 4 or 5. Its just sloppy, even though its decently writen. Delivery is key.

This Was A Alright Piece Of Work
You Had Multis Some Didnt Flow Thru The
Exact Way You Would Want Them But It Happens
The Structure Was Pretty Str8 To Me Though
I Didnt Look At As Sloppy Really
Favorite Lines : "I've got Rap In The Palm of my Hand Im Not Letting go For Now The-Bars-Are-Mine//
Earn Respect We All Got Time Think Straight and Even The Lowest- Stars-Will-Shine//"

Keep Doin You `1

I didn't Even See This Thread, That's "One" Of The Best Pieces I've Seen You Drop Though. To Me This Should Of Went In The Scriptures Forum Slot But That's My Opinion, I Agree With Hazard As Far As My Favorite Line. Good Shit Man, Keep Dropping. Be Easy.

Not bad, still elivatin.

you're improving steadily

some of the multis aren't as fluid as they could be, but this was pretty dope for a venting piece, just keep practicing and you'll elevate even more

like killah said u r improving quite a bit in such a short period of time fortunately im still the best teenager u know but ur catchin up man if u wanna be serious about it, get to recording man u should get some practice in as early as possible u have some time to grow if u keep writing and shit ull get better keep it up, as far as the verse i liked it, some dope multies i see. ur developing some skills of an artist real quick keep it up

fav line: More Mind Control Then My Average age well… fuck the fags- and -bitches//
Born In The City I Was Considered Nothing Look at Me Now Im Hear From Rags-to-Riches//