Hip Hop Forum

http://illestlyrics.com/board/some-of-m ... t2850.html

why is darkness always assocaited with reckless evil
burnin less energy on discussing if my neckless is legal
pourin liquor like game cause that's my remedy
witnessing reality as my enemy passing my eye lense
the way we create alliances to avoid violence
I'm hearin ambulance's sirens as somone's silenced
when we should be admiring, all we do is desiring
fuck that, I desire all, i just beat em like hulk hogan
put u in a mini skirt carrying a where's the love slogan
ya'll black eyed peas, gettin knocked over a trifle
it's payback time, where's the love? i'm bringin my rifle
we lay back and sneek up like a ol' school driveby
element of suprise, it's do or die, be alive or you'll fry
like cass is using a 100K on his shiny white teeth,
u need a lot more then that just to stay on ya feet
shit's not clever, cause we're hungry like alligators
we C4 creatin bomb craters, don't need collaboraters
we just holla at the haters to play exterminators,
thought ya mama learned u never fuck with the greastest (grades)
ya'll like roaches, those we step on if they approaches
always pissin me off to hear suckas talkin bout the shit
without knowin the shit, cause all i hear is ya bullshit

Good Shit Man, The Last Few Lines You Fell Off But Good Shit..

Favored Line(s):
"fuck that, I desire all, i just beat em like hulk hogan
put u in a mini skirt carrying a where's the love slogan"

"the way we create alliances to avoid violence
I'm hearin ambulance's sirens as somone's silenced"

Str8 I Felt How U Delivered It Keep Doin U

My Fav Lines Were The Exact Same as Mac's Ones. Flowed Nice With Good Similies n Structure. Keep it Up

thanx.. appreciating ya'll using a few of the precious seconds of your lives to read my verse..lol

"we lay back and sneek up like a ol' school driveby
element of suprise, it's do or die"

"shit's not clever, cause we're hungry like alligators"

"witnessing reality as my enemy passing my eye lense
the way we create alliances to avoid violence "

you tried some cool rhyme schemes throughout the piece. I'm not sure they were one hundred percent successful but at least your being diverse.

The wordplay wasn't "fabulous" but it was better then some on here.

And you kinda kept on the topic of the how we do kinda thing.

8.2/10.

Not bad man.

pretty nice the flow was ok, i like how u switched up the rhyming, like "pourin liquor like game cause that's my remedy
witnessing reality as my enemy passing my eye lense
the way we create alliances to avoid violence "

also said some pretty meaningful lines and not just rapped about mainstream shit.. nice drop keep it up.

thanks.. like i've said before, i appreicate all feedback..

i Thought This Piece Was More Of a Poem Than a Rap ..
`cus it Juss Went together Well ..
Mad Vocab in This Piece ..
U Had Some Good Punches ..
Tha Whole Verse Was Sharpto Me ..

i Don`t Really Have Any Favorite Lines ..
They Was all On Equal Grounds ..
i Give This an 8 - 10 ..

thanks homez...

this was alot better than some of the other verses you posted, it showed potential you had some nice lines in this but some didn't really transition well to the next bars, keep experimenting and practicing and you'll get better

thanks.. i'll look into it!