Hip Hop Forum

Had a Few Seconds 2 Spare So i Typed something up Real Quick..........

Starrin At This History of Violence From Which i Was Derived In,
Got My Mind-Bent,I Resort to Writen Force Within this Ryhme Shit//
Certain Disasters Got me Askin 2tha Government 'What Really Matterz?
MY Mentallity Trapped In Tragedy,Within these Walls Im Feelin Agany//
Actually Stop N Look At This World And U'll See Whats Really Happening,
Attacking Countries For Blood Thirst And Because Bush iz War Hungry?//
These Thoughts Is Seemingly Stinging Me immediately When Bleeding-Free,
Strapped in for the Ride of a Life-Time,No Excapeing These War Filled Memories//
Odd It Seemz But this Weed Is My Life-Line for Sanity,In this World So Damageing

Starrin At This History of Violence From Which i Was Derived In,
Got My Mind-Bent,I Resort to Writen Force Within this Ryhme Shit//

^^That Was Hot.

Not Too Bad Man, Your Structure Is Kind Of Hard To Follow, But Other Then That It Wasn't Too Bad. Could Be More Creative, Have a Few Multies, Vocab Was Ok. Over All Not Bad Man. Keep Droppin.

Appreciate tha Feed Back Man ...Yea My Structure Iz Off...Improvementz are in Process

Always, Always Man.

It seems that you were forcin some rhymes, understood that it was a key but its criticism. Ill agree wit mac, that first bar is off the hook man, you should take from that and build a hott verse out of it, big up kids

Yeah i Agree The 1st Bar Was Dope. Shit Had Some Deep inner Rhymes The Whole Way Thru, Some Lines Fell Off, Could Be Modified at Some Parts For a Dope as Hell Verse Cuz a Couple Lines Didnt Flow Well But Shit Like That Always Happens And Can Be Fixed Easily. Good Work With The inner Rhymes And Multis Just Fix The Structure (Soundwise) Peace

Thankz for tha Feed Back Yo' I'll Keep it in Mind