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Why do they stay around?

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 12:53 pm
by Viral
alot of built up emotions.....anger....jst alot.......so i figured id write...n this is wat i got....feed would be appreciated




why do they stay around like stray sounds circlin the earth i layed the pound to the ground but it wont block the vibes, i wish it never happened, i wish i never knew, to you id be under ya shoe, i woulda flew out before time took me thru, that day the wind blew, id sit blue, but the numbness took me over, ive lowered my past under 6ft like funeral sessions, i relay words to release the heat everyday...its a blessin...im stressin..over the future of my potential, to empty a pencil wit one strike, n replace history wit a missin piece of me, ive lost stabiltiy, the inability to burn down the blockage, leeches shrink wrapped to my marrow...these halls are gettin narrow, slots firin arrows...hopin i collapse before the end, i wouldnt return to mend the bends but to remove exsistance, of the persistant blades runnin thru my veins, been many days, i lost count, a frost cloud hovers over me every minute i breath, y plead for reprieve, y plant the seed n receive no sun for the feed, its no fun wen u bleed, ive gone psychotic, Od'd on Antibiotic, a body rotted, frostbitten in 60 degree weather, wether i became him or not, i stayed on the spot n let u aim that red dot, u wouldnt pull it....i knew u werent brave enough....by the way....take my stuff....this aint a bluff, wen u walked out i pulled the trigger n let my brains lay in dust, im dead to you....like the ancient egyptians, u went ur way... i was reborn a sickness....always convicted but was never guilty.....if u could only see now the menace inside u have assisted to build me....

Posted: Sat Mar 10, 2007 2:17 pm
by RH1NO
I read this n i thought it sounded eminemish meaning complimentary
Definitely tight as a wriiten but maybe... verbally... open mic at a coffee house great drop though

Posted: Tue Mar 13, 2007 10:34 pm
by complexity
Ill metaphors, and a good story.

"take my stuff....this aint a bluff, wen u walked out i pulled the trigger n let my brains lay in dust, im dead to you....like the ancient egyptians, u went ur way... i was reborn a sickness....always convicted but was never guilty.....if u could only see now the menace inside u have assisted to build me...."

I think the ending really made this piece. Of course it was a story so that makes sense. But you perfectly worded that.

Uppin for more feedback. Half the reason this site isn't getting people on it. Besides the recent difficulties on the server. Is the lack of feedback.Especially with drops like this that shit is not necessary.

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:42 am
by Viral
thanks for the feedback to both of u....i agree with wat ya said tho complexity.....its pretty annoying actually....wonder wat we can do bout that

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:43 am
by complexity
Leave feedback on more drops?

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 2:47 am
by Momeijah
Domino's On The Case Lol, if it Wasnt For Me, Quite a Lot Of Our Active Members Would Not Be Here So Lemme Grab More, Lets Get This Averaging at Like 60 Users Per Day, And Viral, ill Leave Some Feed When i Can Read, Which Will Be When im Finished Kicking Some Ps2 Ass.

Posted: Wed Mar 14, 2007 10:19 pm
by B-Bear
okay, time to do some readin..

was reborn a sickness....always convicted but was never guilty.....if u could only see now the menace inside u have assisted to build me....

that line seized it in a excellent way.. some mad emotion in this, sounds like u'r very confused , and i get the same feelin from readin it.. really feelin it..

a frost cloud hovers over me every minute i breath, y plead for reprieve, y plant the seed n receive no sun for the feed

nice line viral.. !

overall this was a very good drop man! i'd liked u to post a bit more scriptures tho.. so keep it up!

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 11:29 am
by Stina
dayumm i liked that shit a lot, the rhymin flowed perfectly for me .. an it was deep too<3

Posted: Thu Mar 15, 2007 5:35 pm
by Viral
thank you to the people who have left feed...its much appreciated...im sure ill be droppin another written sometime soon....keep a look out

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 12:04 am
by ~*Blitz*~
Yeah this was definatley a nice drop, its always cool to read your shit and see how what that insane mind of yours has come up with next

This is definatley one of the better pieces of illest and you need to stop being LAZY and write more!

I liked how you ended it and Im not pointing out all my fav lines as there were to many...emotion came outta this and it was put together nice so good work

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 12:40 am
by ~*Blitz*~
Viral doesnt have a link...shame on you

Posted: Sat Mar 17, 2007 2:17 am
by Viral
~*Blitz*~ wrote:Viral doesnt have a link...shame on you













Blow Me! :D