Hip Hop Forum

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i had to write 6 bars for summin about the topic psychopathic...

I have poetic ambition But i'm in a psychopathic condition
And with my energetic position i must be the pathetic musician
Just to get cold inspiration deep i let old population sleep
when the 90 year old generation is asleep its operation creep
I never can be respected cuz i tie a granny connected to bed
plan unexpected, poop on her head, instead of dead i colour red
But before that goes i explore her clothes or suppose i steal
But she poor so i only score the lows and hope she will cry real
but i put a knife in oldie n take a life ,can't hold me alot to
Paint red and say My excuses are that god didnt told me not to
So i reply refuses to apply confuses cuz this guy abuses
I'm a pathetic poetic psychopathic....

lol...
-i tie a 90 year old lady to her bed
-poop on her head
-steal shit
-paint red (stab n kill her , with loads of blood)
-Refuse to be confused cuz i abuse....

LINK

lol Da guy is the link natzi

Weird piece, I guess it plays along with the topic cause there was some fucked up shit in there

Your multis are alright, could use a lil brushing up but its awesome to see that you expanded your topics finally and are starting to write about something else. Props for that and keep it up....thats the only way to elevate

Thanks and yeah i follow advice to elevate lol.
So thanks

some of your bolded supposed multies aint even multies kid

which ones?

and btw, tthe bolded are the rhymes,... not just multies

^^^ did he really jus say that...isnt that the point of multiple syllabol usage... to make multiple words and syllabols to rhyme wit each other....

~Symbolikull~ wrote:^^^ did he really jus say that...isnt that the point of multiple syllabol usage... to make multiple words and syllabols to rhyme wit each other....

hes gotta point...

~Symbolikull~ wrote:^^^ did he really jus say that...isnt that the point of multiple syllabol usage... to make multiple words and syllabols to rhyme wit each other....

yea lol but i mean, that maybe u thought everything bolded is a multie, which isnt. Its just like i bolded everything that rhymes.. i.e.

poetic ambition
energetic position

and

red
dead
bed

der is a link dude

T-Stylez wrote:

~Symbolikull~ wrote:^^^ did he really jus say that...isnt that the point of multiple syllabol usage... to make multiple words and syllabols to rhyme wit each other....

yea lol but i mean, that maybe u thought everything bolded is a multie, which isnt. Its just like i bolded everything that rhymes.. i.e.

poetic ambition
energetic position

and

red
dead
bed

Yeah, but "poetic" and "energetic" don't rhyme - that's what Symbolikull was saying.

Same with "psychopathic condition" and "pathetic musician" - "psychopathic" and "pathetic" don't rhyme. For that matter, only the last two syllables of "condition" and "musician" rhyme. I feel this whole thing was very poorly executed and there was no reason for you to bold your "rhymes". When it flows, people feel it. Also, it doesn't hurt to break things up - like into bars. Putting it all into a paragraph without any line breaks makes it a little hard to read.

iightthanks for the feed

Yeah, but "poetic" and "energetic" don't rhyme - that's what Symbolikull was saying.

it does rhyme... as far as etic and etic...same shit eh.. n e ways.. u said u bolded wat rhymed.. however.. multis r rhymes...just an advanced version of it.. when i saw loads of multis i expected alot more.. loads of multis is wat me and symbolikull did in our first uncrowned kings collab..check it out n grasp the concept of "loads"

overall it was pretty good... for a new person on illest ur better than most that come here.. and u dont seem to have quite as big as a mouth as they do which is good for all of us... keep droppin..1

Cool thanks alot. And i will check it out Peace