Page 1 of 2
Britney diss.... decided to do summin else
Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 6:57 pm
by T-Stylez
post41288.html#41288
Decided to do summin else this time lol!
Multies -
Bolded
No multies -
Italic
Don't Shit-Me Britney
wht u think,
U S trusts u a virgin while
You dress like
a ho'?
u Like a "bad quality
video" cuz Justin said u did "
play low"
U was like "toxic", Used
tv "radiation" to make my
dick hard
damn u looked "hot" in any "
degree" situation, thats
chick art
But now u fucked up, u just like
vanilla ice, the
bold type
U're value the opposite of a
villa price, with a
gold stripe
U
shaved your fame away, oops now i did it again all
my style
K Fed didn't really
saved your game eyey, ha no mo'
fly smile
"enter" my dimension, No' "backspace" for the bright 2
return
U was in the "
center" of attention but took the "wrong
turn"
U "left" rehab, but got
"right" "into" "crossroads"
of life
"Cash Cash", Its
might untrue that K Fed made u his
"love" wife
Compared to u, u make the fed
shine like u did to
federline
Only time when u'll sing a Line now is when u take a
cokeline!!
Baby u won't "hit" me one more time now u're toxic
"lacks punches"
I crack your reputation like u ate a billion
"crack-lunches"
Damn i expect a bigg ass diss back from britney now!!!

Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 7:27 pm
by кℓαѕѕιιcк
LOL SWEET MAYNE
I LIKE IT WHOZ BRIYNY
Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 9:01 pm
by LadySam
lolllllll your not serious?
Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 9:09 pm
by T-Stylez
lol britney spears.
And nah im not really serious, i just thought it would be summin fun to make!
Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 10:34 pm
by LadySam
T-Stylez wrote:lol britney spears.
And nah im not really serious, i just thought it would be summin fun to make!
lol sorry shoulda made my comment more specific, i meant he wasnt serious asking who britney was
Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 11:03 pm
by Lawgix
Fabolicious wrote:LOL SWEET MAYNE
I LIKE IT WHOZ BRIYNY
wow and you would have thought the whole K-Fed line would have given it away...
Posted: Sun May 27, 2007 11:10 pm
by T-Stylez
lol its ok ladysam,
And chea lawgix, lol
Thanks for replying ya'll
Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 6:35 pm
by 134282
I didn't find this to be very strong at all... The flow was choppy and their was no reason to bold and italicize different rhymes. If it had flowed smoothly, people would've felt it when they read it.
Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 6:36 pm
by T-Stylez
iight so just the flow, well ok i can live with that
Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 7:01 pm
by 134282
T-Stylez wrote:iight so just the flow, well ok i can live with that
Actually, no, not just the flow. The whole thing needs some work - especially the rhymes. You bolded all of the multi-syllabic rhymes, but only the last two syllables of most of them rhyme.
"Radiation" and "degree situation" don't rhyme. Only the last two syllables in "radiation" rhyme with the last two syllables in "situation" - why is "degree" even bolded...?
Also, you're forcing syllables to be accented when they shouldn't be, making the read very choppy. For example, "of life" and "love wife" only really fit well together when the accent is on "of" in the "of life" and when read aloud, it doesn't sound right.
Lastly, your grammar is atrocious. It's one thing to express grossly colloquial interpretations like "summin" as opposed to "something", it's another thing entirely to key out a small piece littered with misspellings, grammatical errors and a woefully negligent use of the English language.
Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 7:03 pm
by T-Stylez
lol i know how to spell it, but i just type like that haha
And ok
and degree/tv.... bolded
Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 7:17 pm
by 134282
T-Stylez wrote:and degree/tv.... bolded
Yeah, but although the accent in "TV" can alternate between syllables, the same cannot be applied to "degree". If it were, read aloud, it would sound like "DEE-gree". Which brings me to my next point, the first syllable in "degree", isn't pronounced with a long 'e' sound, rather it's pronounced with a decidedly slighter "di" sound. So when said aloud, "degree" and "TV" don't rhyme at all.
This is why Eminem is so successful as a rapper. All of his stuff is multi-syllabic and it all makes sense and it all seems so effortless. Each line sounds so crisp and yet none of it sounds forced.
Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 7:18 pm
by T-Stylez
oh well i was just saying TV and Degree with a normal e =P what would rhyme with degree then?
Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 7:21 pm
by 134282
T-Stylez wrote:lol i know how to spell it, but i just type like that haha
And if you know how to spell "something", then spell it. Don't colloquialize everything to the point of near illegibility. If you're really into rap, then you need to embrace the language in which it is spoken. You can still express yourself without watering down your style by communicating in a correct manner. If other people think it's wack, then fuck them.
Posted: Mon May 28, 2007 7:22 pm
by T-Stylez
Thanks for explaining.. and what would rhyme with Degree thn?