Hip Hop Forum

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Ok i've been rapping for 1 year exactly 2day lol!! I wrote a new spit... and imma be more active from NOW on lol

when I wake-here, I be Like shakespeare cuz i make-fear
Drama In poetic-visions, That's me cracking, i break-here
athletic-missions will get Shit-chasing while i spit-blazing
Haters-stalking, i'm jumping high, son i'll get it-raising
like dictators-talking i get-the-attention while i set-detention
Banning 2 complicated, make me hated, i just spit-suspension
If i start-flowing is it Hard-going or does a man live-on-luck
Shit, Controversy, problems and who still doesnt give-a-fuck
Welcome to t-stylez, it are only hits-g m0therfucker It's-me!!!!
i'm A true son-of-a-bitch so will i ever be one-with-the-rich
Driving-wise while im arriving-nice in a phantom at the villa
Vision bigger then a bill-board and a thrill-lord like godzilla

Thanks 4 ya'll feed... and give real feed not like,... u should write 8 bars cuz that doesnt help my raps really

You Should Write Eight Bars..

Shit Was Pretty Solid..

Must Of Seemed Good, Some Was Abit Eh..lol
Multis were on poiint flow was good..
Dope For One Year, Congrats.. Laters 1

some of the multis u tried to make there didn't fit so well like "it-raising".. the flow seemed a bit off butmaybe it was just the way i read it.. just woke up so i'm a bit tired reguardless, but overall i felt u could've done better.. atleast i dont think this is one of ur better pieces so far

Cool thanks

Good Shit Man.

Thanks dude

Probably your best piece as of yet.

You're wordplay definitely needs some work.

"Banning 2 complicated, make me hated, i just spit-suspension"

Word association and playing with words like that is a great thing but it can be a demon
if it doesn't make sense.

People don't spit suspension.

"Driving-wise while im arriving-nice in a phantom at the villa
Vision bigger then a bill-board and a thrill-lord like godzilla"

This wasn't a horrible simile but just like the last bar I quoted.
People don't say thrill lord, its not a common saying or anything.

Overall: 6/10, one year in, eh? not horrible but not good either.

Thanks alot for ya'll feed it will definitly help me and chea 1 year ... i've had some times i didnt rap 4 a while... some times i rapped ALOT.... havent improved alot lately tho