Hip Hop Forum

Hip-Hops the Pace Maker, to my heart that beats to never Waste Paper,
I spit vapors like a Paint Sprayer, flammable fluids to get yuh Face Flamed Up,//

I don't Credit Stupid, my words our absurd how they land hits like Lennox Lewis,
If I write it, Bet Its Music, I pulled the plug on yuh tape, hit Eject and Threw It,//

My “environmentsâ€

welcome back

whole thing was pretty dope i thought

So whats your Simple Plan, against a dude who drops bombs like a Missile Lands,
You aint shit if your Pistol Jams, my voice echos loud like a crowd fulla Piston Fans,//

^^really stood out for me

nice drop

thanx for the feed Guy...

i would appreciate a lil more

Word This Was Alright Man, Ive Seen Better From You
But It Was Song All The Way Through. Had Some Good Lines
And In a couple Of Your Lines, The Flow Seemed Abit Sloopy.
But Yeah Anyways It Was Pretty Decent PcE.

I liked it.. without doubt, had some ill lines.. actually the whole endin was ill.. love ya rhyme scheme tho, seems that when u stay with this type of scheme u always drop some tight shit.. stick to it for now..


dope shit u got right here

So whats your Simple Plan, against a dude who drops bombs like a Missile Lands,
You aint shit if your Pistol Jams, my voice echos loud like a crowd fulla Piston Fans,//

My flows Heavenly Devine, Ill Separate yuh Spine jus to re-enter & Penetrate yuh Mind,
Im Dedicatin Rhymes, to my father, I look to the future so I see the Elevation of Time,//

Ive Paid my Dues in This, I hope my father “rests in peaceâ€

thanx for the feed man i appreciate it, i aint been writin in awhile this was my first piece in like 2 months or so

Uppin the Feed

one word-dope

thanx for the amazin feed...lol


uppin

Nice drop, Liked how it flowed and the content of it

thanx man the feed is appreciated....

uppin

~Symbolikull~ wrote:thanx for the amazin feed...lol


uppin

hahah ne time

~Symbolikull~ wrote:Hip-Hops the Pace Maker, to my heart that beats to never Waste Paper,
I spit vapors like a Paint Sprayer, flammable fluids to get yuh Face Flamed Up,//

The opening statement didn't do anything for me. "waste paper" and "face flamed up" don't even rhyme. Also, "maker, paper, vapors" - great. But "spit" doesn't rhyme with pace, waste or paint (paint?). Come up with another word for spit that rhymes with pace and waste. I tried, but couldn't think of anything. I obviously didn't try hard enough.

~Symbolikull~ wrote:I don't Credit Stupid, my words our absurd how they land hits like Lennox Lewis,
If I write it, Bet Its Music, I pulled the plug on yuh tape, hit Eject and Threw It,//

This second part really didn't do a whole lot for me either. The flow begins to get smoother with your "credit stupid/Lennox Lewis/bet it's music" combination, but then it fell off again with "eject and threw it". Since "eject and threw it" is one more syllable than "Lennox Lewis", "credit stupid" and "bet it's music", it sounds forced. You could've said "...hit eject and then-I-threw-it", which doesn't rhyme syllable for syllable with the rest of the piece, but it maintains the smoothness of the flow as the syllable count is the same. Also, where you said "bet its music" [sic], the word "its", in this instance, needs an apostrophe (it's). It's a contracted form of "it is", which is possessive.

~Symbolikull~ wrote:My “environmentsâ€

i did this in audio, recorded it, and dropped it in the creation chamber under """TWO IN ONE"""

but i appreciated you breakin it down like that, it really makes the feed that more impressive and easier to accept and where you started tellin me how i could of wrote the end, that shit was dope man...

fo reel thanx