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Racsist Remarks Trembles The Streets Witch Just " Feeds-The-Pain.."
Who Cares About Skin Couler, When Deep Inside We All " Bleed-The-Same "

Were Connected To A War, Thats Unstopable once It Goes " To-Our-Brains"
Who Really Cares About Skin, When Bright Red Spreads "Through-Our-Veins"

Time To Stop The " Beef " We Have And Use It To " Feed-The-Poor.. "
A Diffrence Between War n Peace, Yet Every One Wants A " Peace of WAR.


These Racist Killings Yet Know One Cares Should IAbliterate-The-Facts?
Goverment, Doesnt Do Anything To Prevent Ethnic Groups That discrimante-The-Blacks

Kids Have Been Abused By This, Emitonaly Torn And Wont-Even-Speak..
Ive Been Victimised And It Feels Like My Cold Heart, Dont-Even-Beat.

I Dont Wont This To Blow Outta Proportion And See A Sequel-Of-Strife..
Even If Its Blacks Or Whites, Were All The Same And Equal-In-Life...

First Bar Was From A Old Drop, But The Rest Of My Old Verse Sucked, So i Added It to This Verse..

Upping Feed Please.!!

Not bad, actually this is pretty good.
(I wish I could write bars back at you, but god damn it's way to early for me. LMFAO)

SequencE wrote:post44366.html#44366

Racsist Remarks Trembles The Streets Witch Just " Feeds-The-Pain.."
Who Cares About Skin Couler, When Deep Inside We All " Bleed-The-Same "

Were Connected To A War, Thats Unstopable once It Goes " To-Our-Brains"
Who Really Cares About Skin, When Bright Red Spreads "Through-Our-Veins"

Time To Stop The " Beef " We Have And Use It To " Feed-The-Poor.. "
A Diffrence Between War n Peace, Yet Every One Wants A " Peace of WAR.


These Racist Killings Yet Know One Cares Should IAbliterate-The-Facts?
Goverment, Doesnt Do Anything To Prevent Ethnic Groups That discrimante-The-Blacks

Kids Have Been Abused By This, Emitonaly Torn And Wont-Even-Speak..
Ive Been Victimised And It Feels Like My Cold Heart, Dont-Even-Beat.

I Dont Wont This To Blow Outta Proportion And See A Sequel-Of-Strife..
Even If Its Blacks Or Whites, Were All The Same And Equal-In-Life...

First Bar Was From A Old Drop, But The Rest Of My Old Verse Sucked, So i Added It to This Verse..

Upping Feed Please.!!

I liked it man..good message and use of multis

It's dope... pure and simply dope! leaving more detailed feed later when i'm back..

pretty good, you've gotten a whole lot better, but some depth into this....your vocab wasnt as bad as usual, but your grammar(if i may) was a lil iffy, but the lyrics,topic,flow,rhyming was good...


its a funny topic comin from a white rapper and basketball player...lol naw but keep it up

feelin this whole thing lil man...u've def elevated alottttt...i think it was a nice topic u choose..overall it was nice..nothin like krazy excellent but ur definetly getting alot better...props man...PeaCe


-Tramatik

one of your better writtens, one thing that annoys me is everything you do you "do-your-multis-like-this" and space

out everyone of your bars, which is pointless, just makes it more annoying to read

the topic was good and you stayed on it pretty well, the multis weren't as sketchy as usual, the flow was a tad choppy in the middle of bars, i'd re-word the last line of one of the first two bars cause its basically the same, good work kiddo

this was good, great message..something i would write about myself definitely
great rhyme scheme..usually ur drops are wack but i actually read through this whole thing
and for a 13 yr old ur using some pretty advanced vocab
theres a few quotables but i like this one the best

Time To Stop The " Beef " We Have And Use It To " Feed-The-Poor.. "
A Diffrence Between War n Peace, Yet Every One Wants A " Peace of WAR.

keep it up quence

lol @ for a 13 yr old using advanced vocab( now if only he could spell it right)

n e ways overall it's probably the most intelligent and best written i've seen from u( as far as i can remember)
the topic was good as well


"Time To Stop The " Beef " We Have And Use It To " Feed-The-Poor.. "
A Diffrence Between War n Peace, Yet Every One Wants A " Peace of WAR. "

^^ the second line of this bar really caught my attention

Written and Composed by Michael Jackson.
Rap Lyrics by Bill Bottrell.
Produced by Michael Jackson and Bill Bottrell.


Aaow

Aaow

I Took My Baby
On A Saturday Bang
Boy Is That Girl With You
Yes We're One And The Same

Now I Believe In Miracles
And A Miracle
Has Happened Tonight

Hee

But, If
You're Thinkin'
About My Baby
It Don't Matter If You're
Black Or White

Ooo...

They Print My Message
In The Saturday Sun
I Had To Tell Them
I Ain't Second To None

And I Told About Equality
An It's True
Either You're Wrong
Or You're Right

Aooo

But, If
You're Thinkin'
About My Baby
It Don't Matter If You're
Black Or White

Hee
Go, yeah
Hee, hee

I Am Tired Of This Devil
I Am Tired Of This Stuff
I Am Tired Of This Business
Sew When The
Going Gets Rough
I Ain't Scared Of
Your Brother
I Ain't Scared Of No Sheets
I Ain't Scare Of Nobody
Girl When The
Goin' Gets Mean

(L. T. B. Rap Performance)
Protection
For Gangs, Clubs
And Nations
Causing Grief In
Human Relations
It's A Turf War
On A Global Scale
I'd Rather Hear Both Sides
Of The Tale
See, It's Not About Races
Just Places
Faces
Where Your Blood
Comes From
Is Where Your Space Is
I've Seen The LIGHT
Get Duller
I'm Not Going To Spend
My Life Being A Color

(Michael)
Don't Tell Me You Agree With Me
When I Saw You Kicking Dirt In My Eye

Hee, hee

But, If
You're Thinkin' About My Baby
It Don't Matter If You're Black Or White

I Said If
You're Thinkin' Of
Being My Baby
It Don't Matter If You're Black Or White

I Said If
You're Thinkin' Of
Being My Brother
It Don't Matter If You're
Black Or White

No, no , alright

Ooh, Ooh
Alright
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah Now
Alright , alright
Ooh, Ooh
Shomon
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah Now
Alright
Ooh, Ooh

It's Black, It's White
It's Tough For You
To Get By
It's Black , It's White, Whoo

Ooh, Ooh

It's Black, It's White
It's Tough For You
To Get By
It's Black , It's White, Whoo

thats sum deep shit right there

yeah i liked this a lot man, much elevation seen thru this rap. best written dropped by you as of yet. it was simple and plain, and straight to the point.

highlights were bar 1 & 3

is sequence english?

Aussie. Full Blooooded

You know...for someone being at the age in which you are...you speak with alot of emotion and with excellent choice of words. Being 13...14 yrs old, you're definately a bright gentleman. You're definately 1 to shine when it comes to writtens here on illest. You've had some good writtens in the past but I'd say you've entered a new level of mature nature and topic here. Very good. Few more years and ur gonna be at a sick-ass level of writing kid...no question!