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my shit
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 11:56 am
by Vypa Vendetta
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/post49598.html#49598
bitches wanna fuck with me i'll break your fuckin jaw
i'll leave you mumblin i won as you stumble around and fall
king of the jungle my tempers feirce like a lions roar
i'll fuck your finest whore soon as she enters the door
make it known that i'm not one to be fucked with
bring me a tough spit leave your mouth split talkin that punk shit
if you think that i'm an amature your fuckin with the wrong guy
give me the wrong eye lyrically i'll take you on a long ride
straight to the grave your place will be made
6 feet in the ground so its the end of your days
Posted: Wed Jul 18, 2007 12:04 pm
by RH1NO
Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 2:10 am
by Dead Silence
nice drop man really like it
Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 3:36 am
by Young K
this was alright but it could of been better...
i think you were just trying to rhyme with the whore line...
"make it known that i'm not one to be fucked with
bring me a tough spit leave your mouth split talkin that punk shit"
that was my favorite line...
stay up
Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 8:03 am
by Momeijah
it's Ok, a Little Basic And u Could've Used More Vocab And Punches.
Multis Were Solid in Some Parts And Forced in The Next, Flow Was Nice The Way i Read it.
Work On Creativity.
Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 11:48 am
by Dead Silence
i think this flowed very well together good job on it
it was a lil 2 basic tho u should up ur vocab (same with me)
but over all its pretty good
fav line
bitches wanna fuck with me i'll break your fuckin jaw
i'll leave you mumblin i won as you stumble around and fall
Posted: Thu Jul 19, 2007 5:48 pm
by Lawgix
T.K.6 wrote:i think this flowed very well together good job on it
it was a lil 2 basic tho u should up ur vocab (same with me)
but over all its pretty good
fav line
bitches wanna fuck with me i'll break your fuckin jaw
i'll leave you mumblin i won as you stumble around and fall
first off u said "it was a nice piece" then u give him this??? make up ur mind dude or post only once and stop copyin others...
Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 4:25 am
by Dead Silence
well i wanted to go into a lil more detail bout it
Posted: Fri Jul 20, 2007 5:50 am
by Lawgix
T.K.6 wrote:well i wanted to go into a lil more detail bout it
right well when u leave feedback next time... try to go into detail on the first post so u look less like an idiot or say "this was a nice peice i'll leave some more feed later"
Posted: Sat Jul 21, 2007 9:23 am
by Vypa Vendetta
thanks for the advise uppin for more feedback
Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 1:13 am
by B-Bear
The terrorist strikes again.. haha, it's actually posted a link..
Posted: Sun Jul 22, 2007 1:19 am
by B-Bear
Nooow, um.. JC, talkin bout how tough u are and how u gon fuck up everybody and fuck that chick doesn't work for me man, not on the internet... it just sound a bit silly.. keep that in mind.. but lyrically I have to agree with domino, too basic.. and your punches had some potential, but it didn't show.. I think readin texts on this site, learnin how to write your bars to achieve the best result will suit u good.. but your structure was good.. and guess your vocab needs some work.. but considerin your a rookie, i guess it's an okay drop man.. keep it up