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Supposed To Be For a Collab

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 3:32 am
by Momeijah
Yeah Lol, Sequence Took Too Long, Not My Best But Meh, Creative Ways To Die Or Some Shit Lol.

i Don't Mind a Couple Gunshots, Just Kill Me When The Ruger-Pops.
i Don't Wnna Clean The Mess Up, i Was Never One To Use-a-Mop.
u Think i Wnna Lie in a Fucking Hospital Bed While a Fat-Nurse..
Scrubs My Dick With a Brush With So Much Force That My Ass-Hurts?
Fuck That, Throw Me in Front-Of-a-Train, So The Driver Crumbles-With-Shame.
Quits His Job, Turns To Drink And Drugs Cause He's Had Enough-Of-His-Pain.
While im On My Little Cloud, Playing a Harp, Angels Feeding-Me-Grapes.
Fucking Those Nude Bitches, im Dead But My Dick is Still Keeping-it's-Pace.
Go Out With a Bang Right?
Fucking My Bitch On a Motorbike at One Hundred-And-Sixty.
im Not Looking at The Road, i See a Hummer-it-Hits-Me.
The Girl's Head Smashes-The-Door, While My Face is Scratching-The-Floor.
Flesh And Blood Next To The Road Lines, All The Havoc And Crashes-And-Gore.
We Both Died, My Face Looked Like Someone Took-a-Sander-To-it.
i Could Die So Many Ways, They'll Never Say 'That Stupid-Bastard-Blew-it.'

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/ive-l ... t6107.html

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 3:50 am
by B-Bear
Yeah, tried to collab with him once myself.. He ditched me, that Aussiekid!! Shame on U!

Posted: Tue Jul 31, 2007 6:43 am
by B-Bear
Nice lil story at the end man.. juss love when u get ya babble on.. u're a funny brit!

multies are on point, like usual, and flow was straight.. but a inch choppy someplaces.. had to read it a few times over again to catch it.. but i'd like to see a more focused drop from u.. keep it comin the Dom

Posted: Thu Aug 02, 2007 12:22 pm
by 134282
B-Bear wrote:...but i'd like to see a more focused drop from u.. keep it comin the Dom
I concur. You've got skills, Domino; and while pieces like this are fun - and fun to read - a little focus into a heartfelt piece from you could turn out to be explosive.

This was nice - seemed kind of basic in places, considering what you're capable of. A fun topic, but some lines still seemed forced. The multi-syllabic rhymes were, for the most part, on point. Next time, make it longer though.