Hip Hop Forum

This is more of a message, then just a verse.. cause i really felt like enlightning a topic which is, where i'm from, pretty ignored and forgotten.. and that's a shame.. so anyway.. read on and enjoy!

it's like she healed all my wounds just by pressing my hand
I'm sweaty, cause death ran and became the blessing in a man
words can't express my relief, the feelings were revelations
cause that touch strengthened my belief in miracles and salvation
the pigeons of harmony can be released as another soul's seized
my mental strength has increased through my toughest challenge
it took the incident with the roughest damage to make me realize
that loving my family will always be a vital part of my personality
keeping a street-like mentality is inferior to family safety
bravery turns to stupidity and I think U need understand that
in a blink of an eye u'll detect it and i advise u to protect it
respect it and accept it, cause i don't want u to neglect it
ignorance leads to disaster in men, but if u master the pen
u can use it to talk faster to them, cause I know they'll listen
what i'm riskin is the price, i'll rather energize the changes
the journey aint painless, but I refuse to enter eternity nameless

How bout some feedbaaack?

that was tight bro it was a good message to cuz alot of ppl can relate to it keep it up bro

Thank u.. uppin for feedback!!

so yeah the message is good but i failed to see the rhymes in it

it's like she healed all my wounds just by pressing my hand
I'm sweaty, cause death ran and became the blessing in a man
words can't express my relief, the feelings were revelations
cause that touch strengthened my belief in miracles and salvation

^good rhmes
the pigeons of harmony can be released as another soul's seized
my mental strength has increased through my toughest challenge
it took the incident with the roughest damage to make me realize
that loving my family will always be a vital part of my personality
keeping a street-like mentality is inferior to family safety
bravery turns to stupidity and I think U need understand that

^fail to see the rhymes
in a blink of an eye u'll detect it and i advise u to protect it
respect it and accept it, cause i don't want u to neglect it
ignorance leads to disaster in men, but if u master the pen
u can use it to talk faster to them, cause I know they'll listen
what i'm riskin is the price, i'll rather energize the changes
the journey aint painless, but I refuse to enter eternity nameless

^nice ending and rhymes

TK6 There's a Reason Why i Say u Don't Know Shit And This is it. u Think Somethin Ain't Rhyme if There Ain't a Rhymin Word at The End Of The Line? N00B!

That's Called a Rhymescheme TK6, Ya Know Where He Has a Lot Of inner Rhymes? Why Don't u Learn a Rhymescheme Sometime.

Anyway B-Bear, First Of All The Flow On This Was immaculate, All Those inner Multis Really Helped The Cause. im Not Really Sure Of What ur Trying To Say Though, at 1st it Was Like it Was For a Girl, Then it Became Like a Self-Discovery Piece. For What it Was Though it Was Great Just Shine Some Light On The Topic For Me Haha.

My Favourite Lines Were;

my mental strength has increased through my toughest challenge
it took the incident with the roughest damage to make me realize
that loving my family will always be a vital part of my personality
keeping a street-like mentality is inferior to family safety
bravery turns to stupidity and I think U need understand that
in a blink of an eye u'll detect it and i advise u to protect it
respect it and accept it, cause i don't want u to neglect it
ignorance leads to disaster in men, but if u master the pen
u can use it to talk faster to them, cause I know they'll listen
what i'm riskin is the price, i'll rather energize the changes
the journey aint painless, but I refuse to enter eternity nameless

ALL That^ Lol. i Was Feeling That Part a Lot. Keep Droppin We Need To Keep illest High Standard Lol.

Thanks babe! lol.. and thanks for feedback t.k.6.. if u look closer u'll find em..

the topic is a bit hidden, because this was basically the last verse of a song.. think i've posted the other two verses here as well.. "don't take her away", so the message is that, unfortunately, a lot of teenagers say like they hate their moms, they hate their families, when they don't really understand that all they wanna do is protect u.. and then, with everyone, it takes such a serious incident as the one i described in the other two verses (about a car crash and being at the hospital, lookin at their mom fightin darkness), to make em realize how much their family really mean to em.. how much u love em.. it's almost makin me mad, juss thinkin bout the way they're acting.. the ignorance and the stupidity.. anyway, that's really the topic/message