Hip Hop Forum

SEE i chill like a freezer//
fly high like a kite//
my lyrics are original//
i never seem to bite//
i my not be a good freestlyer//
i mostly on my peak preformance when i write//
i am pro i just love to deliver the ryme on to the mic//
lyrically,i'd whoop ur mom in a fight//
i love watching porn movies at night//
i never suffer from ur fright//
i am trying to ryme right//
well..not really//
i am jus practising my freestlye//
making these lyrics good//
i would apriciate feedback..
if you did or think my rymes are whack//
feel free to hit me back//

One word..

Wack!!


Dude, look at your verse and hit me back at what u see, i'm talkin errors and mistakes.. that's the only real way u're gon be able to learn.. I'll actually try to help u out a bit..

Alrity

Yah. No offense but it wasn't to impressive.

Think about how redundant them first few lines are, I understand it might be a freestyle, but try to be more original.

Thx Plex
I will keep practising
like i have realised
like When you freestyle on a specific topis
(eg.racism,love....)
it keeps ur focus more on
but when i try to freestyle when nufins on my mind
it just seems whack and wastes err1's time

Ill hit up with another verse
ill use Love as my topic
(really gud 1 to relate to)

damn,girl i know it may sound stoopid but i must confess//
when i saw you with your new boy i waz impressed//
the way you changed your walk//
the way you dressed//
even though you aint mine when i saw you it still felt like i was blessed//
but you got me tied up into this mess//
dumped me in2 a whole lotta stress//

But i wonder,if you ever sit back of the times we had//
woudnt it make you sad//
coz it makes me mad//
Makes me feel all bad//
/.............

this was really average..alot of work..but for a freestyle then icant really hate if it is..keep practicing tho..im sure ull be able 2 pick it up quick..pEacE

Hey thanx Ya'll