Page 1 of 1
Posted: Thu Oct 04, 2007 10:00 pm
by Haz
Try To Open Up My Mind Not Tha Barrel But i'm Still Squeezin
Close My Eyes Hopin i'm Dreamin Tha Man is Hit And i'm Still Breathin
^ i Liked Dis Part..
Posted: Sat Oct 06, 2007 1:32 pm
by complexity
ey yo, this was pretty good man, I think it could have been a little better with the visual, although it was very descriptive
The rhymes in general were pretty nice.
A bunch of creative concepts.
For example...
"Stoppin At Tha Store Dont Kno Why But i Aint Gotta Mask
Tried To Just Rob Tha Joint But Tha Piece Was So Hot it Flashed
Now i Killed Two Birdz Holdin Tha Same Gun
My Biggest Question Still is Where it Came From "
Overall, pretty solid.
Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 4:34 pm
by Mac
"Now i Killed Two Birdz Holdin Tha Same Gun
My Biggest Question Still is Where it Came From "
Favorite Bar, That Was Solid Right There.
The Visual Was There, Just Needed Better Structure.
Over All, Not Bad.
Posted: Sun Oct 07, 2007 9:59 pm
by Spoof
yeah I agree the structure could've been better but otherwise this drop is good. The storytelling is nice!
fav line:
Didnt Try To Squeeze Just Waved Tha Piece Tryin Ta Scare Him
Tha Metal Was Clashin While Tha Shell Was Flashin And He Still Wasnt Carin