Hip Hop Forum

Im lost in the world of freestylin, theres no time to write yet type to post in battles,
But I stay wit the weed on the blaze tip when trax hit like my microphones a candle,
Pride, anger and greed, all have me mixed up, but I know when to aim at ya knees,
Ima thief it aint safe in the streets, fuck what you want, cuz bitch I take what I need,
I aint gonna fake it, I aint kurse I aint gon' make it, so forty hours my hustle,
Been top to bottom, its live or die never surrender vowed to Devour the struggle,
Even though theres always gonna be maybe's, take backs, mistakes and what if's,
What if 2pacs car was shot and hit but his legs were jus grazed and the slugs missed?
So wit words spoken and im heard flowin, its open wide and shut up bitch swallow,
I aint the type to wife hoes, I stay up like light poles, ghost can fuck a bitch hollow,
Dick tips got no condom on him, I pull it but it fires like 70 rounds of semen clips,
Nasty and mean wit it, getta nut off then sent the slut off cuz im not to be seen in it,
Shit now my penis drips, jus kidding! but for real ur bitch swallowed it all in one sitting,
Now you know why you got denied when u Tried to come home and fuck the slut I jus got done hitting!

Overall: 6.5 out of 10

The Concept:
The concepts been done before. Man is born...Man faces lifes struggles and trials...Man does what he has to do to survive at all costs...etc, etc. It wasn't badly written, so anytime someone introduces a story thats been told before...they technically introduce a new interpretation of that particular tale. I dunno...I've just seen Ghost write better things in the past and exercise his gift of words better.

But don't take that as me cutting him short of the talent displayed in this piece. Ghost still had some of those powerful "impact" bars as soon as he reached toward the end of the verse. In ex:

"Dick tips got no condom on him, I pull it but it fires like 70 rounds of semen clips,
Nasty and mean wit it, getta nut off then sent the slut off cuz im not to be seen in it,"

Beautiful. Simply beautiful. If others don't find that to be the rawest bar (or one of them) in this piece, then there's sumthin wrong there. Personally...I thought that shit was dope. I luvvvvvv pimp mentality! haha

The Hibbity-Jibbities:
The only note that I would have to add is sometimes the lines seem a bit too long. Doesn't give it a forced feeling...but kind of a "throw you off from the original rhyme scheme" kinda feeling. But I forget sometimes you tend to spit ur lyrics fast, which is maybe why there tend to be more words in ur writings. haha Which in that case...if the reader who's gazing over ur written masterpiece spits his lines quick as well...it'll probably be easier for them to comprehend or follow other than someone who spits slower.

Damn...if Weezy were to read ur verse...he'd be lost. haha

lmao @ the lil wayne shit...

yeah i wrote this pretty quick jus got in one of the moods, ya know...

but i always appreciate the feed and critism..

UppIN