Hip Hop Forum

a diss track i might be recording soon with this kid Tony,heres my parts


chorus for it:

lemme make it clear
we aint playin boi
so when u see them thingz
start sprayin boi
u betta act like a priest
n be prayin boi
b4 i find ya fam
n get'ta slayin boi

and heres my verse:

son dont u kno
i got the game on lock
confusin ya mind
so ya brains in'a knot
it aint my fault
im gettin fame n u not
comin at tony
its a shame i gotta drop
a few lines
justa maintain my spot
but tell me man iz
it true u be makin tracks?
even if u are
u aint statin facts
justa nother rapper
whos fake n wack
close ya mouth b4
i get'ta breakin backs
n really have'ta go
n just take an axe
chop u all up
n make some snacks
ta feed ta the dogz
cuz i come from
a higher breed of gods
the type that ull see
in the street with a squad
just waitin'ta blow
u causin a scene
im creatin a show
bring u into hell
im Satan with the flow
lemme fall back
u aint worth the time
me and tony gonna
give a re-birth'ta crime
keep talkin shit
it gets worse in time

justa nother rapper
whos fake n wack
close ya mouth b4
i get'ta breakin backs
n really have'ta go
n just take an axe
chop u all up
n make some snacks
ta feed ta the dogz
cuz i come from
a higher breed of gods
the type that ull see
in the street with a squad
just waitin'ta blow
u causin a scene
im creatin a show

lol Simple Chorus

This Piece Wus Pretty Strait Keep Droppin

i liked this. the diss was decent, nothin too special but it was solid. the flow was good. li ike the simple structure and short bars u use sometimes so i jacked it and used it my lnew drop lol.

this was my fav bit

n make some snacks
ta feed ta the dogz
cuz i come from
a higher breed of gods

Decent But Not a Patch On ur Other Recent Shit.

i Think u Should include More Punchlines in This Even Though u Got Some Nice Lines And Disses But There's Nothing Worse For The Opponent Than Completely Tearing Their Character Apart On The Track, So if ur Still Doing This That's My Suggestion. Apart From That The Rhymescheme And Flow Were Fine, But im Not Really Gnna Tell u About The Good Things in This Since There's Nothing Much To Say About Good Things Apart From That They Were Good! Haha. Favourite Bar Was
u causin a scene
im creatin a show <--

Good Structure in There Dude Keep it Up as Far as Rhyming Etc Are Concerned But Attack His Character More Since it's a Diss.

i dont think the diss was relevant to anything, i actually didnt see any diss track form thru out your verse, flow was aight, lyrics were ok, punches were weak in my book. structure was nice and easy to read but i jus think that if its a diss track it should diss someone a lot and hard, which this verse did not.