Hip Hop Forum

Eddie -

yo .. we fell off ova 30 dollaz you dont eva Call Me
you Hate My guts Dawg im so "Sure" Like Paulie..
I Ain mean To Aim At ya Back with a Knife
i Know you'll actually Do somethin Wit ya Life..
i ain just writin this to kill my time evil fills My Mind
predictin my future who knew your present would be revillin mine?
your behind walls & bars when out here you were called a star..
cops ran when a fiend coppd damn wita gun to ya head like drop man
i wish we could switch races to switch faces in order to switch places
all these envelopes you betta stack, pick up a pen write a lettah back.



Haz -

Man what the fuck you writin for..u was fightin to bounce i was fightin 4
cops son.. talking about switching places? come on now stop dun..

if you had my back like a "brace" u Wuld be Next 2 Me to Fight da Case..
what kinda man-is-g?? abandined me left me locked up while hes standin free..

No clocks on the wall i aint seeing time, the fucked up shit is 3 ounces wasnt even mine!
but i've been doin-time with you-in-mind you ain stuck in hole cus u movin-fine..

30 dollars?? son what u rambling bout?? u played ya cards wrong like u gambling out
turned from my dawg 2 a rat..and gave me up the way a baseball player do-a-bat..

So know you'll neva be "right-az-a-friend"
do ya self a favor & neva "write-haz-again"..

FEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDBACK

iz eddie just someone made up?or..cuz i was unsure bout that..newayz im glad u made that transition sorta from ur normal shit 2 this,its different for u n helps u expand ur ideas more u shud do this more often..newaayzz..the first part with eddie wasnt bad i liked this part from it.

I Ain mean To Aim At ya Back with a Knife
i Know you'll actually Do somethin Wit ya Life..
i ain just writin this to kill my time evil fills My Mind
predictin my future who knew your present would be revillin mine?
your behind walls & bars when out here you were called a star..

pretty cool^

now the only problem i have with the last part iz...like this line for example

if you had my back like a "brace" u Wuld be Next 2 Me to Fight da Case..

i understand the punch..but its kinda odd how u just threw it in there kinda..but i got ur point,just avoid makin punches suddenly like that..2 me if its a story u dont wanna be randomly puttin punches unless it flows smoothly with the story..it wasnt bad tho..heres a good example of what u shudda been doin thru the whole thing.

No clocks on the wall i aint seeing time, the fucked up shit is 3 ounces wasnt even mine!
but i've been doin-time with you-in-mind you ain stuck in hole cus u movin-fine..

30 dollars?? son what u rambling bout?? u played ya cards wrong like u gambling out
turned from my dawg 2 a rat..and gave me up the way a baseball player do-a-bat..

good shit^..overall i liked it tho,just givin u some more detailed feed..keep@it