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The kill
Posted: Wed Feb 20, 2008 11:44 pm
by thaphantom
Either i'm Snapping-your-neck.
Or just asking-for-respect.
While i'm attacking-her-chest.
What will she be askin-for-next.
I took your girl just like i'm taking-your-life.
A armor not fit so she's mistaking-her-knight.
you'd Come up to me with a knife, I only do Gun-play.
Verbally i'd just end you right there's only one-way.
Well some-day, you'll see that i'm more-than-what-you-think.
Smashing your cranium with just my fore-hand-possibly.
I'm snapping-your-neck, then soon cracking-your-vets.
yes, i'm lyrically on point what are you asking-for-next.
I can either crack-ya-neck, splash-the-tech, or just discombobulate your dome.
Or just blast-ya-chest, ask-what's-next, and i'll be the sniper at your home.
Quick freestyle im in my first period class.sleepy cause these sinus pills...just took a test...yeah im bored anyways...post what ya feel....
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 12:26 am
by Khan
very good on your multis, I'm impressed i didn't think you could write like this.
every drop you do, there is improvement, now i will point one thing out to you.
Well some-day, you'll see that i'm more-than-what-you-think.
"""Smashing your cranium with just my fore-hand-possibly""".
I'm snapping-your-neck, then soon cracking-your-vets.
The line with the 3""",Where you said "Fore-Hand-Possibly". Now the only problem i see, is that you didn't rhyme anything with that multis.
that is really the only problem i see, now i would have pointed out that you said crack-ya-neck, alot, but you always had something new to say afterwards so it wasn't that big of a deal, but other then that, like i said, i like it, this is probly one of my favorite pieces done by you.
Keep Up The Good Work.
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 1:50 am
by thaphantom
the word possibly i ryhmed it slow...i said it slower like u could hear it verbally you would understand....
more-than-what-you-think
fore-hand-pos-eh-ble
i dunno i cant explain through text you know
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 1:52 am
by Khan
its straight, there is a way to say some word and make them rhyme so thats what you probly did here, but by reading it, you couldnt tell lol still good job.
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 2:26 am
by thaphantom
lol thanks...uppin for more feed..anyone?
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 2:29 am
by Khan
hit me with some feed, asshole..lol Fighting? go check that out.
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 3:23 am
by -TraMaTiK-
not bad,like Khan said that one line in particular doesnt reallyyy fit the way u hoped but i guess if u can make it work more power to u..newayz wasnt bad but it wasnt really eye catchin either 2 me,u got some skills keep@it
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 6:01 am
by complexity
"A armor not fit so she's mistaking-her-knight. "
That was the nicest line.
"I can either crack-ya-neck, splash-the-tech, or just discombobulate your dome.
Or just blast-ya-chest, ask-what's-next, and i'll be the sniper at your home. "
this was interesting
Overall, not horrible, keep it up.
Posted: Thu Feb 21, 2008 10:18 am
by ~Symbolikull~
first off multies were not good at all, flow was choppy as fuck, you repeated yourself way to much, and rhyme scheme is too basic idk i wasnt really feelin this drop i personally thing you may have taken a step back on this one.
Posted: Sat Feb 23, 2008 5:32 pm
by thaphantom
wasn't trying to force nothin' you know but thanks for the feed uppin for more feed....people have good days and bad days you know? and you might as well say i was high off this sinus pill cause damn i was sleepy and hungry as fuck
Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 1:25 am
by Cee4
yeah most off the multis were off. nothin special but overall it was alrite for a quick drop.
Posted: Sun Feb 24, 2008 11:01 am
by thaphantom
thanks for the feed...i appreciate it...still uppin for more feed though...go check out my other posts in scipts and leave comments if u haven't already..