Hip Hop Forum

i did this song when i was in a suicide mood and i just felt like a peice of shit at this point in time

i feel like i am gettin better withmy flow and lyrics and what not

so when u leave feed please leave it by comparing it to my other stuff

this pain inside just eats me up//
it has me feelin like my life is so fucked//
no one cares about what i gotta say//
who would give 2 fucks if i wasnt here today//
all of this shit that everyone put me thru//
has me feelin so fucked up i cant stay with the tune//
coz my drum is off beat like my heart in my chest//
it makes me wanna lay down and rest//
with everyone else who felt this pain//
what more is there to gain?//
i got friends talkin behind my back//
talkin bout how i wanna be black//
lets see how they talk with my gat//
in their face bitch im never coming back//

what more is there to live for//
im like a pimp without his whore//
i have no money coming in//
i feel like i can never win//
just cut my body into peices//
then shoot me with ur peices//
the lay ur kids to sleep//
kiss em goodnight coz tk6 got 2 deep//
well shit i cant help wat happens ne more//
fuck this shit theres the door//
theres the light callin my name//
then it just bursts into a flame//
and theres the devil smilin at me//
im smilin back because he just took an mc//
to come back for the greatest return//
then everything can fuckin burn//

now im chillin in the devils cave//
this shit is like a fuckin rave//
everyone is chilled havin a good time//
no one cares if u cant spit a line//
this is the place that i wanna be//
this is what i want to see//
i feel so accepted is this place//
im so glad that im ur disgrace//
coz otherwise i just wouldnt be here//
i wouldnt be rockin the demons gear//
i can say what ever i want and no one cares//
when i was on earth everything added to my tares//
that was in my skin that tore me apart//
no one down here is a narc//
coz no one gives a fuck wat u do//
im staying here for good so FUCK YOU!//

ok..um well,ur first 2 lines in ur 1st verse were on beat n u were on n off beat thru the resta the verse
2nd verse wuz mostly on beat a lil better..3rd verse wuz kinda all over the place like the 1st...umm yeaa u needa new mic which u kno,idk wtf ur usin now but its worse then mine jesus..newho..ur tryin which iz cool,but u needa be able 2 fully ride a beat b4 it sounds even 'ok' ur kinda showin emotion which iz good in'a certain aspect..keep tryin tho and buy a new mic man

thnx for the feed

well the mic i have is all shit and old
i actusally fucked wit my verses and i took the DB down onhere so it dont sound so distorted and what no
but yeah thnx for the feed

well honestly only props i give you for this is that you tried...if you want to give up...give up...you sound like ur about 11...and ur talking about a gat.....a squirt gun? come on man dont speak about shit you aint seen in ya face or touched....and learn how to master your music....did u record this straight through? if so dont do that untill you can get on beat with ur lyrics....you want to kill yaself? just try it? nice beat where'd that come from just wondering

hahaha umm thnx i guess

no ididnt record it straight thru

and i got it from soundclick

go check the feed i left on big p's stuff he just recently dropped the unrealeased verse or what ever...read that cause i was telling him info you should read...i aint trying to hate on yall though

ight h.o

man u gotta understand its harder for some to rap
its harder for some to get on the beat
its harder for some to come up wit grade a lyrics
i mean i no ur being honest and thats kool wit me
but u gotta understand its harder for some than others
and how do u know that me or P havnt hustled or held or seen a gat
like u dont no that ur assumin shit
ive hustled
ive sold weed before
w.e its somthin that ive done
ive held a gun ive shot one off
so i dont see why u gotta be assumin shit like that
its like someone saying to you that uve never had sex and that ur a big d-bag that cant get a girl if ur life depened onit
we dont no that thats why we dont saythatkinda shit
i rellyhate ppl who assumes shit likethat

i'm just speakin' homie..it's called opinions...it's called what people gon think when they hear a lil preppy white boy talkin bout they hustled...or when they hear a lil squeaky voice talking bout puttin a "gat"
to someone....it's stereo typical...yall voices dont hit it for the sound...yalll should use a voice changer or something

Phantoms a fucking loser who acts like a fucking internet tough guy. Don't take anything he says seriously.

ight thnx GUY

yeah i no what u mean but ive sold alot not no5 or 10 spots shiiit i dontfuck around with that small petty change lol
and as far as the gun thing goes ur right about that but i dunno thats just how i like to rap
when i rap or w.e i dont rap like its really me i rap as if im another person who would do sumtin like that

big improvement from what i remember of you, you actually can kinda flow somewhat sorta now, kill what ever the fuck vocal effect you got on, its making your vocals all garbled and distorted

Big improvement from your last tracks man. That voice effect I didn't like though, sounds like you were rapping in the ocean or somethin.

Flows gettin better, emotions there. You're getting there. Throughout you fell off the beat but you collected alright. Keep doin what you gotta to elevate. You'll get there.

thnx for the feed back really enjoy it

the voice thing was suppose to be my like self conscious speaking coz when that speaks it sounds differnt in a way so thats what it was suppose to be but yeah thnx for the feed