Hip Hop Forum

Ayo, this is my first drop on this site, been kinda feelin' like..

Her impressions mis-leadin', like "hi, I'm leaving"../
Like impressions in cement, that I wish I could sleep in../
Like confessions of content I wish I could speak with../
I wish I could leave with more than half I came with../
More lost than the first time I laughed with what the pain did../
When the rain hit,... I swear I saw her skin glow../
Everytime the wind blows, somethin inside, hides and lets go../
Somethin confined, tried to let go.. it died beside the bed post../
..Crawled up and slept inside my head.. Ghost... it hurt like strep throat../
Now my head hurts, ..sat up and put my friends first,,./
Looked into the eyes of an empty room, til the pen cursed../
Where the end started, ..I lied there tryin' to finish it../
Pushed the bottons, crushed their functions, I don't know what a limit is../
Fucckkkk... goes like.. ..
I loved the way she lived, ..her eyes of light and wet wings../
The lies where right, so I lied!.... She cries and it dries on her neck skin/
.. She can smile with her eyes wide shut.. the sky flies numb../
I sit and watch, the high dies, Goneee... I'm alive, the skyline lies stunned../
..Her 3 year suicide was a slow dance with cold hands../
The hope ends where the rope bends,.. no romance to hold hands../
A message in a bottle... I throw it at the clouds../
Please read this.... I need this,.. it breaks on the ground../

Feedback highly appreciated,

Look forward ta checkin' all of your stuff as well

Pea2e

welcome to illest lyrics homie

your from nation of hiphop correct? hope this isnt biting

flow was alright, topic was abit iffy to me this could of been good but the wording and structure really through me off here man.. welcome to the site enjoy your stay and if you keep up the dropping i'll keep on the feeding ill break down this later or if not your next drop peace

some dope bars none of the less

Where the end started, ..I lied there tryin' to finish it../
Pushed the bottons, crushed their functions, I don't know what a limit is../

^^ prolly my fav

ya i use that site once n' awhile, i dropped a couple familiar bars there and got zero feedback..

so i took it back to the lab, re-structured it and dropped it.. good lookin' out

Ill.

I'll leave better feed soon.

.. She can smile with her eyes wide shut.. the sky flies numb../
I sit and watch, the high dies, Goneee... I'm alive, the skyline lies stunned../
..Her 3 year suicide was a slow dance with cold hands../
The hope ends where the rope bends,.. no romance to hold hands../
A message in a bottle... I throw it at the clouds../
Please read this.... I need this,.. it breaks on the ground../


"a Message In a Bottle i Throw it At the Clouds
Please Read This i Need This it Breaks on the Ground"

ill Son..

Dis Wus a Good Read.. Fa'real..

Dat Message in a bottle shit hit Me dough..

As a Whole Dis Wus a Good Piece
i Felt The Concept...
you Got Alot of Potential homie..
Keep Droppin i'll Make Sure 2 Leave U Feed..

Stay Up & Stay Active..

O By The Way i Also Enjoyed Dis Bit
Now my head hurts, ..sat up and put my friends first,,./
Looked into the eyes of an empty room, til the pen cursed../
Where the end started, ..I lied there tryin' to finish it../
Pushed the bottons, crushed their functions, I don't know what a limit is../

Alot of Emotion & Rawness Brought Through out Ur Piece

Like i Sed Stay Up & Stay Active

Feedback much appreciated boys, thanks for takin' the time out to readin my work, means a lot..

I got my eyes open for all your work as well

Yeah For da Most Part We're all Good Wid Feedback
Bad Or GOod.. U'll Always get it Homie lol

snowgoon wrote: Where the end started, ..I lied there tryin' to finish it../
Pushed the bottons, crushed their functions, I don't know what a limit is../
Fucckkkk... goes like.. ..
I loved the way she lived, ..her eyes of light and wet wings../
The lies where right, so I lied!.... She cries and it dries on her neck skin/


..Her 3 year suicide was a slow dance with cold hands../
The hope ends where the rope bends,.. no romance to hold hands../
A message in a bottle... I throw it at the clouds../
Please read this.... I need this,.. it breaks on the ground../

great shit man, real sick.

those were my fave lines up there
nice flow man and im glad that this is yours
very emotionally moving. you put vivid images in there too. good stuff
enjoyed the read, keep it comin

respect's on readin' my work Arvincible