Hip Hop Forum

Sommin i was fukin around wit.


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Imagine for a second that any minute any hour ya taste buds turn sour and u stare death in the face
Imagine that its cold to escape u were neva told ur momma u wanted to hold u home sold ur breath tried to chase
Imagine an ak makin a beeline for ur head a horse head in ya bed something a lil like godfather 2
Imagine if you stole from a shop and the keepa didnt call the cops but u were so guilty u told no one to bother u
imagine if u left your village in fear of the rebels who would rape and pillage infused with the power from the devil
imagine If ya momma shot up every night in plain sight in day in the shade her braincells slain stayin an hour from the treble
imagine u was feedin on dirt no money for a eat no mattress to sleep as the murderas dumped dead bodies
imagine the judge banged the gavel ya face mangled and u couldnt talk so u couldnt tell ur family u loved them
or imagine the diamond necklace u was wearin was made by a kid who was seven with a machete to neck
imagine a young girl who knew nuffin of the world sold to an old man for trinkets and pearls when she was ready for sex

Imagine .

ur opener looks like u bit off of my line in the "24 hours to live cypher"

cuz you're a faggot.


BUt anyways your closer was the strongest.

or imagine the diamond necklace u was wearin was made by a kid who was seven with a machete to neck
imagine a young girl who knew nuffin of the world sold to an old man for trinkets and pearls when she was ready for sex

The repetition of "Imagine" structurally keeps it from being less of a rap n more of a poem IMO.
but ehhh its an ok piece i mean it wasnt great, but it was decent. U need to increase the magnitude or importance of the piece if you want more to read it.
It could have been stronger if you added more bars or descriptive diction.

Thats real feed bitch!!!

yeh i know this was a screw around

but gimme feed.
Uppin

This Piece Was Aiiight
you shouldnt of Stretchd it so much
but the concept Wus Cool
This wusnt bad its just
you need to be more Lyrical within Da verse

this was pretty good Raiza. You always come with somethin different i`ll give you that. Like Arvincible said it was kinda poem`ish. yeah the lines stretched out a bit and it wouldnt of hurt to use a comma or some inner rhymes

my favourite bit
imagine if u left your village in fear of the rebels who would rape and pillage infused with the power from the devil
imagine If ya momma shot up every night in plain sight in day in the shade her braincells slain stayin an hour from the treble