Hip Hop Forum

Life is just one big ass chess match

Now I've heard you speak of pawns and kings but...honestly
you've forgotten the in between

You've painted scenes of

mindless masses attending


[/quote]mindless masses[quote]
while masterminds pass us without attracting glances

but

What makes a knight
differentiating between rights and wrongs while finding
rights in wrongs and wrongs in rights

decided to take flight
instead of support the royal court I made my way to the end of the board
war torn
and jaded

if we follow Gods example and the roads that he paved us
then the only ones in heaven are those in vegas
Gambling with money instead of faces
see
be more like him is whats preached to the races
yet

Satan's the same story different boring ending

Darkness descending
the heartless pretending
They aint harming their friends
when they target the enemy

I'm laughing hysterically
castleing barely
in time just to parry
the checkmate I'm fearing

Using pen and pad as a failsafe
day by day make my way
aimin for a stalemate

Usually feedback is a lot better on this site.

I love the topic and your approach.

I could see this as spoken word before a rap song, but either way, I'm feeling 90 percent of it.
(though, of course, i could see this being done)

It was pretty original, some deep thoughts.

Vocabulary was good as well.

My only reservation are tedious things like the unevenness in bars.

Good job though man!

way to bring ur own style of rappin and poetry here
and rockin it.

This is a nice piece overall, its a bit unorthodox but i got used to it as i read more


if we follow Gods example and the roads that he paved us
then the only ones in heaven are those in vegas


one of ur best messages^^^

good stuff man keep it up you've got somethin goin

good shit.. i like how u made a chess game into reality

i liked it, rhymes were nice in some spots, n the overall metaphore is pretty sweet

maybe more of a piece for distilled concepts section

but yea dude, it was a good read, nicely done

Thanks for the feedback guys. I really appreciate it and I will try to do more rap as well as poetry.

WeirdSense

Dis wusnt Bad
it Wus Different..
you Had a Creative Approach
Anyways Keep Droppin