Hip Hop Forum

i walk A-Loan wanna Take Me Out? u just gotta Shakey Mouth
Its Me who My mother Gave-Birth the blessing Here 2 Save-Earth
where im At?-Hell Burnin While Burnin a Fat L Get K.O'd off Dat-smell
Like I Dropd, im Up-N-im-Proud Seein people like Ants (Up-n-Da-Cloudz)
From da Streetz ov Cop,Killaz Glock,Fillaz (Mafia Affilated) & Roc-Dillaz
The City off da east Dat Think Pacz-Rilla.. Ride 2 (Hit em up) Pop!-Kill.Ya
Rappin i Piss on whoeva till my Intestinez-Will-Fry Stainin Dere headz
"Destined to DYE", Musta Digestd Acid cause Da Hazard wont Rest-in-dis-Guy
Even if life is Bad my Skills-is-Good i eat like Termits wen u Pill-da-Wood
so Whoevas Testin Face The Bottom of My stomach rappaz Restin-Place

[color = red]Like I Dropd, im Up-N-im-Proud Seein people like Ants (Up-n-Da-Cloudz)


The City off da east Dat Think Pacz-Rilla.. Ride 2 (Hit em up) Pop!-Kill.Ya [/color]

^^best lines man really creative with the wordplay...
You're getting better little by little with little pieces like this.
For constructive critiscism man, ir youre goin to make one-liner rhymes,
you should extend a little bit so the flow doesnt get thrown off IMO aite?
but other than that this style will be fire on audio, i already know man..

Imma rate this bit a 6/10. It was decent but not really outstanding, good shit. Keep it comin

i would have to agree wit arv here, i liked where you were tryin to go wit this but i think sometimes the one liners throw your flow off a bit