Hip Hop Forum

Okay feed my boy chronic 1st collab scriptures same as me really but well no offense to anyone on this site if ya get offended by my rap
1st verse-GODD
2nd Verse-Chronic

Verse 1
some people have respect for da name some people missin a brain
they lyrics to lame for this rap game watch da mack flame
slight spark to light the same thing and its a shame
i'm da thunder then here come rain lightning make ya sorry ya came
he end up slain spillin his guts mayne snitched to bust a nut stain
now he's bein watched by da cops think they gone make us stop
sniffin coke buyin from da block scared when da gat cock
my bat knock on ya head to make ya world rock runnin out of stock
no bullets now how ya gone pop ya nine off
boot knockin down da door lyin on da floor tryna hide but cops want some more
poppin back fo ya but get blood n gore now ya stomachs sore
some would call it a war if there was iraq or afganistan there'd be bombs instore
now countries are involved nukes bin sold UK sayin this shit's to old
USA be actin bold wit bush runnin em they nothing but cold
so stupid he cant negociate just waitin to blow up a state
in a couple years we'll find out he's from outta space
he was testin a crowded place now earth his ships gone erase
we got no peace all we got is disgrace but thank god for rappers spit rhymers
to penilize shit shiners not just one liners but gun miners
be gettin carm at it or dramatic
shootin guns in da evening hidin bombs in da attic
cops be buildin up like static thank god i got me an automatic AK
wot rappers be saying we aint playin this serious all of em need slayin
only jokin just tryna make my point some rappers just roll up a joint
some rappers only time they bars is when they was locked up
police tryna get us rocked up baby momas be knocked up
so there daddies split without a good bye
leavin moma to whither away and die


Verse 2
rappers state of mind maybe reflexive the objective
of rap to be respected connected wit other rappers be selective
ya dont want any mafucka look through perspective gangsta's ya trust not rejected
rep can all be collected suspected to a crime which ya was never ellected
police hate ya so now ya arrested in jail convicted of shit you never comitted
we have to stop failed cops jail plots to get out but hail rocks
come down before they can break out steak out the next bank fo money to take out
roberies is like the most common job fo common slobs
to make easy money so they rob wit guns for fun money comes in tons
be feelin my heats comin straight from beats
straight off da streets U hungry fo meat i crush da concrete
can you handle the elite the king is me i'm no Warren G
i stay in my fleet gangsta's followin me swallowin G's
its as easy as pissin from dicks no need to be thick
rhymin in timin no need to be quick take ya time
ya find ya rhyme inside rewind be kind ya spineless behind
will realise ya aint scared just aware maybe prepared
among da impaired ya feel ya incharge instead
ya shoot but teflon protectin'em bullets nah they reflectin'em
cuttin ya up disectin'em rap nah new rappers be wreckin em (Soulja Boy)
same shit real repetitive shit think ya legit get a record deal then come back and say it
got music play it to show dick heads rap we gone stay it
chronic said he rushed the 2nd verse but he can do alot better

wasnt bad shit uppin feed ya

Verse 1 - choppy flow, had the basics of a good rhyme scheme, but u ruined it with your flow.. missin em multies tho.. stayed on topic, got potential - misses the cutting edge! structure was all over the place, get a good structure and u'll prolly get a nice flow to it as well..

Verse 2 - same problem as GODD, choppy flow - it ruins the entire verse, just being straight.. no offense, to get a nice written there's to vital elements that needs to be good at any time - structure and flow! they usually go hand in hand, but they make magic happen when it comes to scriptures.. felt like your verse had more content, there was sorta more punch in it.. made an impression.. some good rhyming, but it lacked a proper rhyme scheme - felt like u were tryin to do like Eminem did before, using a lot of words that rhyme in order to get a good flow.. the piece has good potential, but lacked the structure, flow and multies to like blow u away..

GODD and Chronics veres kinda similar..hmm im suspicious

schizo

ur gettihg better

but its still dull, just because you have an end rhyme in every line doesnt mean its a rap

it was a decent topic, bit played but its ok

you guys do have similar verses but that can be complimentary, what you need to do is stand out man

for ur work i gotta say its better

good job way to put work in man

Cee4 wrote:GODD and Chronics veres kinda similar..hmm im suspicious

schizo

incase you think we're the same guy i'll get him on later as soon as he gets up that is
we'll both be online at the same time

Uh huh....a cell phone/laptop and computer will do that. Stop thinking we're so God damned stupid.


This was rather boring. Lacking multis and anything higher than a fourth grade vocabulary. I mean, yeah, it rhymes...but it's got no oomph.

Work on that.

introducing you suck my metaphorical dick metaphorically