Hip Hop Forum

If you could see my inside image
its like a hell fighting scrimmage
Every corner has demons laughing
and the Devil never ceases from clappin
Burn the books Burn my desire
Blood comes from pores when i perspire
The fire burns out my eyes
They bleed to be up in the Skies
God cant stop be from redemption
My mind's gone from exemption

Awaiting to rid of these Versatile Demons
Neglecting everything ,Even Evil
Getting what i need,im Ready Man
Every war was nothin,Serious Omens
Letting me know what to Use Never again
Slipping with every last Step,Sliding

Off course because the devil has my soul
I wont give up, He wont get it Whole
Piece my body together, Im so out of place
These War Children want to make me a disgrace
No Matter what i do the devil retaliates back
But he cant scratch my Amour not even a crack
Could Crumple this soldier Imma stand Strong
16 years of fighting and everything went wrong
Well its my time and im going stay alive
Because in the end ill be the only one who will Survive


Call it Angels Versus Demons

just something i threw together

well nice poem
i liked it all
8/10
keep'em comin homie

thanks UPPIN!

UPPIN

It's good, but it's still not drawing me in. Dig deep into your inner persona and come up with something gold. I know it's there, you just haven't found it yet. It's almost as if you chose the words you chose simply because they rhymed - which - they don't have to.

in the second stanza i just rhymed to rhyme. but i tried to creat a sense of feeling with it tho but thanks for the feed