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http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/retur ... html#86165
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/risin ... 43b5703721
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/blah- ... html#86166
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/toxic ... html#86167
http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/suici ... html#86168



See,
They Say Ima Menace Satans Apprentice
a Demin-Witha-Halo Whos Fienin-An'll-Inhail-Yo..
Meanin in a Cause, And Add it To My Own Goal..
Minus Ya Additude..See you Act Like the Baddist Dude..
Cus ya Sairatonin Produces Nothing But Maggit Food...
(BUT!) i can see how ya Minds,a,waste Cus every Time,u,face
Yaself..Ur Silent outa This world Like a Mime-in-Space!...
i Dnt Mind-2-Taste ya Sour-Vibe..As every Hour you Strive
4 Control Ona Power-Thrive..Coward-Dive..Ina a Blackhole 2
Resemble-ya-Hate, Neva-Endin Forever-Pretendin u Esembled-ya-fate..
i Sit Here And Can't Help-but-Think!..u need Help Get ya Self-a-Shrink..
in Reality it Aint Insanity..Your Xposing Ya Self Its Prophanity...
Wantin 2 En-Me..Due 2 Envy..2 Bad you Cant Stand-With-Me..
My Trapd-Pain-Man-tallity..Makes it So No Rap-Game-Man-TALLIS-ME!..
And u Hate it u Want Me Out-Da-Picture Like a Storyline OUT-A-SCRIPTURE!..
My Mouth-still-Blisters,So if a Problem-Bubbles With a Joker
Outta GOTHEMS-TROUBLE....you'll see Intellegence-Released..
Have All Da Neglagence-Ta-Cease..
i'll End The Battle With No Relevance-Ta-Peace...
See Depressions Full-in-a-Nigga..So if My Emotion Pulls Again
im Pullin-Da-Trigga..
Its a Endliss Pit,i Neva Can End-Dis-Shit..Senseliss Fits..
Got Me Feeling Like a Aggressive-Skit...
i Wanna Pull my Mind-out im outta-My-Mind..
Soon you'll Find-Out.. i Doubt dat im Fine...

Uppin ...

i Loved This Drop ..
It Was Nice But a Little Confusin ..
You Kept Skippin to Different Topics ..
But Overall it Was Nice imo ..
Tha Closer Was Nice Too ..
Liked How You Wrapped it Up ..
One Of ya Better Drops ..

Word.
The End Was just Explainin..
How My mind State is..
And not to push Me basically..

this drop was good shit
flow was tight
multies was good shit n all
the vocab was good but made stuff a little confusing

keep'em comin

Decent dropped. Seemed a lil rough around the edges, like I've seen you do better texts in the past. In example...

"(BUT!) i can see how ya Minds,a,waste Cus every Time,u,face
Yaself..Ur Silent outa This world Like a Mime-in-Space!..."

...that second part of the rhyme seemed really forced. Like I feel you could've put sumthin more intense or descriptive there.

But there were some good lines too. Like...

"Outta GOTHEMS-TROUBLE....you'll see Intellegence-Released..
Have All Da Neglagence-Ta-Cease..
i'll End The Battle With No Relevance-Ta-Peace..."

Like I felt like the quote above was prolly ur strongest structuring of words throughout this whole peice. It was good...but I can kinda see where Rell said it was confusing cuz there's a couple of pieces that kinda seem a bit choppy. It's a solid piece, but I've seen u drop nicer shit before. Keep doin whut u do mayne!

Uppin 4 Feed...

good shit man,for some reason i got this feelin like u were spittin this over that renegades beat by em&jay idk why tho lol.shits nice tho son.loved this part here

4 Control Ona Power-Thrive..Coward-Dive..Ina a Blackhole 2
Resemble-ya-Hate, Neva-Endin Forever-Pretendin u Esembled-ya-fate..
i Sit Here And Can't Help-but-Think!..u need Help Get ya Self-a-Shrink..
in Reality it Aint Insanity..Your Xposing Ya Self Its Prophanity...
Wantin 2 En-Me..Due 2 Envy..2 Bad you Cant Stand-With-Me..
My Trapd-Pain-Man-tallity..Makes it So No Rap-Game-Man-TALLIS-ME!..
And u Hate it u Want Me Out-Da-Picture Like a Storyline OUT-A-SCRIPTURE!..

keep droppin son

LMAO
Your GOod i Did Write Dis To Renegade

I'm leaving your damn feedback that you requested a million years ago.

You don't lack in originality homie.

"Resemble-ya-Hate, Neva-Endin Forever-Pretendin u Esembled-ya-fate..
i Sit Here And Can't Help-but-Think!..u need Help Get ya Self-a-Shrink.. "

I loved the rhyme scheming and combination of rhymes.

The vocabulary in the entire piece was much improved, I agree with a lot of Kurse's sentiments whether you like the criticism or not, you will never be confused as a wordsmith.

Vocabulary and phrasing is probably the most underrated part of emceeing on this site. It's how you're measured as a writer. Even with simple rhymes and similes, great multis or bad multis, amazing wordplay or shitty wordplay. How you relay all of these aspects determines how effective you're as an emcee.

That being said, I don't want you to think, I categorize you as the same emcee from 2 years ago. You have came a long way.

I thought the flow was great, but you still need to improve structuring.

Notable bars.

"Outta GOTHEMS-TROUBLE....you'll see Intellegence-Released..
Have All Da Neglagence-Ta-Cease..
i'll End The Battle With No Relevance-Ta-Peace...

Its a Endliss Pit,i Neva Can End-Dis-Shit..Senseliss Fits..
Got Me Feeling Like a Aggressive-Skit...
i Wanna Pull my Mind-out im outta-My-Mind..
Soon you'll Find-Out.. i Doubt dat im Fine..."

Overall: 8/10

Thank You..