Don't Call Me (Audio Track)

[Futures]

I've recorded the rough version of this but I've been too broke to really record it so here's just the lyrics


[Hook]
I'll be rolling in a benz, in a mansion (Don't call me)
Don't want your friendship just end it and let die
bye (bye) (bye) get it right...(Don't call me)
When you see me on the tel-i-vision, listen (Don't call me)
T-A-M-P-A B-A-Y I, I'ma rep that bay til I die - I (Don't call me)
Dont care if you remember me...I prefer you as a memory (Don't call me)

[Verse 1]
Im every kind of a problem homie I carry karma
inside of my soul my body's composed of jack
of marijuana and smoke, I'm so mad
but figure the weed and liquor is everybody I KNOW
I aint bipolar my - only 2 sides are either high or sober
Tell your mom come over
Im so tired of you hoes, been rappin 8 years
and still aint made a motherfuckin dime from the go
God knows, I done made a lot of dope and wack shit
My flow, never fumbles and the swag is established
Well there might be bugs on some of you mugs
but there aint no bugs on me (on me)
Yeah boy when its all said and done Ima blow
Then them hoes gonna come up to ME looking for dough
Hell nah...after riding my dick get the hell OFF
Wasnt there for me before but now you done fell off

[Hook]
I'll be rolling in a benz, in a mansion (Don't call me)
Don't want your friendship just end it and let die
bye (bye) (bye) get it right...(Don't call me)
When you see me on the tel-i-vision, listen (Don't call me)
T-A-M-P-A B-A-Y I, I'ma rep that bay til I die - I (Don't call me)
Dont care if you remember me...I prefer you as a memory (Don't call me)

[Verse 2]
The game'll make you impatient and make you see that
the people that claim to be there are really the ones that aint
and the same motherfuckers will come to you in ya fame
Trynna take your credit like they the one that gave you ya name
I made it here by my lonely so get the hell away
and really I dont give a fuck about you any way
and homie I dont owe anybody but me and myself
cuz I done been alone all along
I made a star, out of nothin, I started out as a fuckin
joke Now I'm the only hope Yall have to run to
Told if I aint got nothin. to live for, then find somethin...
to die for, to ride for...I of course
made it my way of living, cant help but take it literally, thats all I got the time for
I regret that I took my family for granted
but I had to take my own path...now I'm on that...

[Hook]
I'll be rolling in a benz, in a mansion (Don't call me)
Don't want your friendship just end it and let die
bye (bye) (bye) get it right...(Don't call me)
When you see me on the tel-i-vision, listen (Don't call me)
T-A-M-P-A B-A-Y I, I'ma rep that bay til I die - I (Don't call me)
Dont care if you remember me...I prefer you as a memory (Don't call me)

[Verse 3]
And Now I'm on that...said I'm on that...
Patron, Corona, Hennessy and that Cognac
and anything I can smoke, I'll take a toke at
Homie liquor can kick in quicker than Prozac
I went from livin out of my car and havin nothing
to promising yall that im gonna be something
While yall trynna make it, I'm only out for fame
If I dont blow up with a banger, I'll go out with a bang
...Don't even listen dog, the liquor talkin
but I ain't got no home, I'm kinda ticked off
and I ain't got no money, it's all gone
Hell i'm losing more recording this song, now it's on
Man I'm through playin round with you hoes
fuck it I'm mad at you...you had your chance you a bitch without a bone
Callin me on the phone, yo I don't owe you nothin
I don't fuck with you hoes, leave me alone

[The Gonz]

Decent flow, bad structure, mediocre display of lyricism. Your critique for Mrz.'s verse can be applied here. Same ol message, same ol shit, nothing stands out lyrically. I'm sure it'd make a nice audio and blend in nicely on the radio.

[Futures]

Decent flow, bad structure, mediocre display of lyricism. Your critique for Mrz.'s verse can be applied here. Same ol message, same ol shit, nothing stands out lyrically. I'm sure it'd make a nice audio and blend in nicely on the radio.

You're definitely not looking into it enough. Skimming over it can definitely give you a misconception as to what the song is about. It's definitely not glorification in any way. Aside from having a very complex rhymescheme throughout most of the song, I actually had an emotion that I wanted to convey with this song, I'm not saying "I wanna become rich" every verse.

[The Gonz]

I'll reread and give another critique.

[TreTru]

UMMM ..maybe you should download the audio track...cuz
the scripts probably dont do it justice if it's as deep
as you sayin it is...but probly could be a decent audio drop..
i guess...

and WHO do you ghostwrite for?....if that's true..

[Futures]

The idea of a ghostwriter is to keep quiet about who you write for. I believe one of the reasons Diddy turned down Royce was because Royce was putting it out on every other track bragging that he was ghostwriting for him. That's bad business

anyways, this is the audio track. This is a REALLY rough version. I'm gonna have it redone and recorded in the studio, but this is what I recorded just so I could listen to it and memorize it. I did a lot of punch-ins as I was writing it.

http://www.www.illestlyrics.com/copyrig ... 49928b5a4/

[complexity]

The idea of a ghostwriter is to keep quiet about who you write for. I believe one of the reasons Diddy turned down Royce was because Royce was putting it out on every other track bragging that he was ghostwriting for him. That's bad business

anyways, this is the audio track. This is a REALLY rough version. I'm gonna have it redone and recorded in the studio, but this is what I recorded just so I could listen to it and memorize it. I did a lot of punch-ins as I was writing it.

http://www.www.illestlyrics.com/copyrig ... 49928b5a4/

Diddy & Royce are friends and Royce will be ghostwriting for him again.

I noticed the intricate rhyme scheme and I can imagine the flow would be pretty dope, I caught it at least.

I found the first 10 or so bars the most interesting. I'm not bi polar I'm even high or sober!

"While yall trynna make it, I'm only out for fame
If I dont blow up with a banger, I'll go out with a bang "

The rhyme scheme was the dopest on the first verse though. I see some resemblance to Royce Da 5'9.

Like I said, I was feeling the first verse out of all three, so thats my main criticism and you had some real simple bars.

As for the Ruckus and his comments. I can see where he was going, sometimes when you're a good writer Future, you can find exceptional things in your work or others that doesn't exactly resonant with everybody. For instance, me and Rell gave each other positive feedback on a lot of drops because we use to love the inner rhyme schemes. That's more of a taste, if someone doesn't think you executed them to meet their standards. You can't just sum it up to lack of understanding, you need to make them aspects of your writing more transparent, and improve based on that idea. Just my two cents.

8.5/10