Refreshin The Memory

- Mutual -: Supreme Lyricist; Offline; Posts: 4442; Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 2:01 am; Wins: 5; Losses: 11; Location: Dont Live In One

Quote

Post by - Mutual - » Sun Mar 15, 2009 9:00 pm

i went for a lightning effect please tell me which is better 1st or 2nd

The Eagerness Is Putrid My Fluids Acid Leaves You Vexed Like Black Holes
Your Inept To Correct Stretched Like Fat Folds Perplexed Like Castro
I'm So Tenacious With Rhymes Sensatious So Patient With Lines
While You Fill Your Writtens With Filler And So Stay Vacant In Mind
I'm Amiable But Too Your Haters I Appease Your Arcane Admissions
Dark Games No Vision Your Avarice Lead To Scarred Shamed Partitions
So Callous In His Candor You Have To Coerce For Neglect
For Worse Or For Best I'm Confidant With A Verse Of Respect

!!ILLEST MINDS!!

-TraMaTiK-: Unstoppable Emcee; Offline; Posts: 2046; Joined: Fri Oct 13, 2006 7:59 am; Wins: 6; Losses: 17

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Post by -TraMaTiK- » Mon Mar 16, 2009 8:25 am

i like the first one better,ur gettin better from what ive looked at man,kool shit keep practicin

Haz: Supreme Lyricist; Offline; Posts: 6800; Joined: Mon Dec 18, 2006 1:41 am; Wins: 67; Losses: 70; Location: The Port

Quote

Post by Haz » Mon Mar 16, 2009 1:37 pm

Coloring is Bad...
But I Like It..
Second one Is bad.. .
Nothin fit's Right...

Improvement is Shown..
keep Doin You

- Mutual -: Supreme Lyricist; Offline; Posts: 4442; Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 2:01 am; Wins: 5; Losses: 11; Location: Dont Live In One

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Post by - Mutual - » Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:39 am

thanks fo the feed yo

The Eagerness Is Putrid My Fluids Acid Leaves You Vexed Like Black Holes
Your Inept To Correct Stretched Like Fat Folds Perplexed Like Castro
I'm So Tenacious With Rhymes Sensatious So Patient With Lines
While You Fill Your Writtens With Filler And So Stay Vacant In Mind
I'm Amiable But Too Your Haters I Appease Your Arcane Admissions
Dark Games No Vision Your Avarice Lead To Scarred Shamed Partitions
So Callous In His Candor You Have To Coerce For Neglect
For Worse Or For Best I'm Confidant With A Verse Of Respect

!!ILLEST MINDS!!

Momeijah: Supreme Lyricist; Offline; Posts: 6964; Joined: Tue Aug 22, 2006 12:32 am; Wins: 38; Losses: 7

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Post by Momeijah » Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:40 am

as Far as The Actual Lightning Goes The 2nd One is a Lot Better it Looks More Like it's Surging Through The Letters. (Oh Lookie i Made a Rhyme)

AKA SCOTCH HALL, MOE MEIJER & MOMEIJAH.

- Mutual -: Supreme Lyricist; Offline; Posts: 4442; Joined: Wed Apr 09, 2008 2:01 am; Wins: 5; Losses: 11; Location: Dont Live In One

Quote

Post by - Mutual - » Tue Mar 17, 2009 5:43 am

haha thanks for the feed Dom

The Eagerness Is Putrid My Fluids Acid Leaves You Vexed Like Black Holes
Your Inept To Correct Stretched Like Fat Folds Perplexed Like Castro
I'm So Tenacious With Rhymes Sensatious So Patient With Lines
While You Fill Your Writtens With Filler And So Stay Vacant In Mind
I'm Amiable But Too Your Haters I Appease Your Arcane Admissions
Dark Games No Vision Your Avarice Lead To Scarred Shamed Partitions
So Callous In His Candor You Have To Coerce For Neglect
For Worse Or For Best I'm Confidant With A Verse Of Respect

!!ILLEST MINDS!!

ReCkinAll: Rhyme Master; Offline; Posts: 199; Joined: Tue May 19, 2009 4:36 am; Wins: 1; Losses: 5; Location: Strong Island, NY

Re: Refreshin The Memory

Quote

Post by ReCkinAll » Thu Jun 04, 2009 1:44 am

1st