Gangster Mode

[Darth Vader]

Spit the following to the 'D-Block WHAT' Instrumental:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iiLLdu1TIs8

The flyest of hoodlums, and ghetto gangsters gettin' it/
crackin' them pieces - chippin' off the bricks no sweatin' it/
the illest of hustlers, no bitches or bustaz/
riches become us, y'all get sick to ya stomachs/
pushed in the cupboard, slashed and shipped to Bermuda/
you's a, bullshitter meet my pet barracuda/
loser, five foot six with short man syndrome/
who ten years ago, missed a pass in the end zone/
swears if he caught it he'd be riding in a benzo/
no friends though, solo with a bitch gettin head yo/
is that so?, man you stayin' broke I'm gettin' fat tho/
dough like astro, blow like Castro/
how many mics must I destroy on the fast road/
to diamond rings - just flashin' like lightning/
or a ufo sighting, the knowledge enlightning/
Back to gangster mode, hands are cold, hash is gold/
the ashes greyish, the tint, well that's black in bold/
product sold, son you only makin' foes/
remember that, as you wake up with tubes in nose/
bruisin' souls, I'm always on my X n O's/
yuh bettah knowz, daddy's triple X'n hoes/
the rest unfolds, slowly, but surely/
I win, you lose, surely, but sorely/
I live, you die, sadly and poorly/
You die, I live, I'm the one and only...........Darth Vader Bitches....


Need some feeds on this one...

http://www.illestlyrics.com/board/gutta ... 13479.html

[The Gonz]

Let's see here. The flow was inconsistent. The subject matter was extremely bland. No real eye catching lines. No dope metaphors or similies. Had a couple decent multies and rhyme schemes but then you had some bad ones too. Throwin in stuff like "B" and "yo" at the end of lines is annoying and seems like you lack creativity. Not saying you do, this piece isn't bad. It just isn't stand-out either. There's nothing new, fresh, moving, or lyrical going on here. Just basic rap lyrics. And that pretty much sums it up: Basic. I can tell you have more in you, I'm just waiting to see it.