Welcome to Illest Lyrics forum established in 2005.
----
Free Vapes

Close to the Edge

Drop your written rhymes in one of the largest collections of original rhymes on the internet. The feedback in our Written Rhymes section will simply amaze you.

Moderators: Loon E Lou, Enlightend

Post Reply
User avatar
Gutta
Rap King
Offline
Posts: 825
Joined: Wed May 30, 2007 7:11 am
Wins: 14
Losses: 14

Close to the Edge

Post by Gutta »

Fuck your cultures and trends, I’m posed to get ends
Over the edge, holding my heart close to my chest
You’ve broken a part, something unspoken and raw
Im supposed to dissolve, and drift away in the ocean a far
Cuz I opened my jaw, explaining racial tensions with
Strains of sentences, from my brain and penmanship
I contain the venom in, endless times I walked that route
In battle, now it’s so dark I can’t chalk out my shadow
What you talkin bout Hoe? We can clap them guns and let them rattle
Nothing now tho, but trying to erase the tendencies to ride
Getting rid of all the enemies inside trying to mentally deprive
Me, something sending me, to high-er levels than the turf on which I stride
I spit flames that will burn you with my rhymes and in turn you’ll derive
Form the sperm that I divide, raps contracted on journals in my mind
I imply its your turn, look inside
I'll kill u dawg, lyrically or with tha ber-etta. its wut-eva//
cuz u kno i squeeze arms like I'm checkin my blood pressure//


Son I write with the trifeness
Engraved in Tyson
Curse the shots that left BIG and Pac lifeless
-Cormega-Verbal Graffiti
User avatar
P.T.R-ins
Elite Freestyler
Offline
Posts: 251
Joined: Sun Aug 16, 2009 11:31 pm
Wins: 4
Losses: 7
Location: Srbija,Beograd,Kotez

Re: Close to the Edge

Post by P.T.R-ins »

nice drop... :D
KISS MY ASS AM SERBIAN
I found enlightenment at the bottom of a bottle I spoke to buddha and he told me I was tequila worm in past life
User avatar
-MenaCe-
Flow Creation
Flow Creation
Offline
Posts: 1397
Joined: Wed Jun 17, 2009 9:28 am
Wins: 22
Losses: 19
No Shows: 1
Location: New York
Contact:

Re: Close to the Edge

Post by -MenaCe- »

Im feelin this shit man, not to complex but not to basic ya kno..Nice Drop


Fav Line:

Nothing now tho, but trying to erase the tendencies to ride
Getting rid of all the enemies inside trying to mentally deprive

^^^Feelin That Shit..
E-Makulate Metaphorz
" Ya'll Can't Stop Tha Movement!! "
Image
User avatar
TreTru
Rap Professional
Offline
Posts: 1608
Joined: Mon Dec 01, 2008 5:35 am
Wins: 9
Losses: 5

Re: Close to the Edge

Post by TreTru »

this had a real good flo. multi's lined up real nicely vocab was ok..i'd say this was a good drop...
keep doin ya thing ...1
User avatar
complexity
Elevated
Offline
Posts: 9702
Joined: Mon Jan 02, 2006 9:09 am
Wins: 48
Losses: 15
Location: Maine
Contact:

Re: Close to the Edge

Post by complexity »

Two SCRIPTURES in a hot minute. Wow....

Reasons I liked this drop

1. Flow

2. Rhyme Scheme

3. The surprise factor. I was trying to read that first line. Over the edge, holding my head. I think you made a conscience decision, not to write that rhyme, to throw your audience off. You did it again with the shadow bar.

4. Gangsterism

What I didn't like

1. You seemed kind of lost after your initial burst of inspiration. I'd say the "shadow line" was probably the cut off.
Image

Check out our Vapes for great prices.
Post Reply

Return to “Written Rhymes”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 4 guests