Thought Process

[Mass Effex]

Same gun from day one, it’s hard to pull it
Same look then, except for one departed bullet
Different situation, expected consequences
Duckin’ and dodging life, oh yeah and not to mention,
Mental, the stability’s all up in the air
Plus line might be crossed between what’s wrong and fair
Knowin’ what’s gone’s a longer scare, the big
Mistake was to act out and stop and stare
Thinkin’ back things used to be so loose and clean
But this nightmare can seem just like a lucid dream
It’s hard to believe something like this was achieved
Payback wasn’t that great, the victory teased
And told it was all ya need, I guess not
The questions, who really deserves to get shot?
Doesn’t it the make ya the same? to react dumb?
That scumbag you hate, then you turn into that scum
Just to look in the face of life and blow smoke in
In slow motion, though it’s ugly and so broken
God comes to mind, it’s said that you should pray
But all I got back was what is thought that he would say
If any conselation, there was colossal faith in
The whole thing, but no match for trauma facin’
This black hole parallel can look so releivin’
A gateway to a place that’s beyond dreamin’
So close, it seems like the way’s in sight
That road to dark can seem like a fade to light
Filled up with an empty view, why bother
With choice when this life is already simply through
The thought process can seem like an illusion
But the method has brought things to one conclusion
There’s really back, but one way out
And the way is calling so close, no doubt

Second half coming soon...
Feed please, I'm trying to perfect this.

[JHaze]

i liked the first two lines but then it started to fadea little for me, it feels like you wrote to a beat cuz the flow is there, some parts were nice though

Mental, the stability’s all up in the air
Plus line might be crossed between what’s wrong and fair
Knowin’ what’s gone’s a longer scare,

Thinkin’ back things used to be so loose and clean
But this nightmare can seem just like a lucid dream

Just to look in the face of life and blow smoke in
In slow motion, though it’s ugly and so broken

these parts were pretty good, overall its good i just feel like some lines were a little basic, either way good stuff keep droppin

[Mass Effex]

Thanks for the feed. I was going in the direction of radio friendly story.

[complexity]

Same gun from day one, it’s hard to pull it
Same look then, except for one departed bullet

I loved this.

Different situation, expected consequences
Duckin’ and dodging life, oh yeah and not to mention,
Mental, the stability’s all up in the air
Plus line might be crossed between what’s wrong and fair

Once again. I really like that description.

Knowin’ what’s gone’s a longer scare, the big
Mistake was to act out and stop and stare

Nah.

Thinkin’ back things used to be so loose and clean
But this nightmare can seem just like a lucid dream

Sweet dude.

It’s hard to believe something like this was achieved
Payback wasn’t that great, the victory teased

Nope.

And told it was all ya need, I guess not
The questions, who really deserves to get shot?

Nobody.

Doesn’t it the make ya the same? to react dumb?
That scumbag you hate, then you turn into that scum

Lol.

Just to look in the face of life and blow smoke in
In slow motion, though it’s ugly and so broken

Word.

God comes to mind, it’s said that you should pray
But all I got back was what is thought that he would say
If any conselation, there was colossal faith in
The whole thing, but no match for trauma facin’

Not lucid enough for my liking.

This black hole parallel can look so releivin’
A gateway to a place that’s beyond dreamin’

Cool.

So close, it seems like the way’s in sight
That road to dark can seem like a fade to light

Sweet.

Filled up with an empty view, why bother
With choice when this life is already simply through
The thought process can seem like an illusion
But the method has brought things to one conclusion
There’s really back, but one way out
And the way is calling so close, no doubt

Good ender.

Second half coming soon...
Feed please, I'm trying to perfect this.

I really enjoyed this drop. The thought process behind it was cool as hell. It kept me entertained throughout.

When you think that you wrote a bad bar. Sometimes its best to completely scrap the idea and try another one because this is rap, every bar counts. Remember that.

[The Gonz]

I left feed on Part 2. Like I said, this shit was on point. Nice concept/story, good rhyme schemes and multies. It could always be fine tuned, but it was still a nice drop overall. You should edit this to include Part 2 and have the other thread deleted so people can read the whole thing at once.