judged verse 2

[trubblecleff]

who wants to be judged yall know not us/
summed up by stuck up self righteous dumbfucks
formin a simple synopsis based on stereotypical topics
be it criminal political or biblical causes
steady acceptin ridicule and subliminal losses
bein belittled for profit
clones dronin on in their cubicle boxes
conformin to the norm like good little robotics
actin like were not/all gods kids
like their personal deposits in urinal closets dont exit their bodies smellin like infertile garbage...
but we all gotta stop it
cuz r numbers next on the judgement day docket
and the days gettin closer with each tick tock the clock ticks
so the bottom line is quit talkin shit
or ima take it from talkin to boxin ribs/

[FlipSide]

who wants to be judged/yall know not us/summed up by stuck up self righteous dumbfucks/formin a simple synopsis/based on stereotypical topics/be it criminal political or biblical cause/steady acceptin ridicule and subliminal losses/be belittled for profit/

Eeeeeeeeehhh! This was tight... But separate it so i can see some structure.. Other than that it flowed well and over all i liked it.. Hot drop..

[MOEstradamus]

this was a nice verse for a beginner on the site like i said before break your structure up into bars the paragraph thing wont get you anylove at all around here your flow was alright not the best same tip as before look around read other verses and find out what other people are doing and try and learn off them

[trubblecleff]

i get what u guys r sayin thnx. different style but ur right ill work on it

[MOEstradamus]

see thats easier for people to read and help give you better feed.