deafshady is back!! with sweet 16 bars!!

[deafshady]

been working hard to reach goals, won't buckle from stress
but I was sent here for the struggle, and I'll suffer to death
my concepts stay focused, waiting for something to change
my progression remains hopeless, afraid I'm stuck in my ways
I need a new trade ..just an idea that my company raised
problem with that, addiction is my only companies traits
I must be insane, the voice within my heads getting louder
tellin me do drugs n be a failure, but I'm failing without'em
counting the days going by, I'm twenty eight years deep
if you live and you learn, guess you graduate when deceased
i just aggravated the beast, annoying the women i love
my gene pools liquor n drugs, but cant swim when I'm drunk
and if that isn't enough, I'm drowning and hardly afloat
hoping that pcp works, because they call it the boat
a god awful approach, thats why i asked him for help
I walk around like christ, no sense in asking myself

[QwarterZ]

This was purdy decent
I see your style is pickin' up a bit
which is good, but you gotta work on the message
and don't confuse 16 bars with 16 lines
it's prolly why everyone doesn't peep this
this is 16 lines, it's nice
it's just kinda obvious...like you already did this
I mean it's all good, just keep doin' you