2 Verses For A Track I Was Gonna Do

[Mac]

This Was A Song I Wrote After Me An My Ex Broke Up...

(Verse 1)
I'm takin you back 5 months Ago,
When I thought my heart was Untouchable,
To the first time I Saw ya Face,
I fell inlove for I even Caught ya Name,
Thinkin This couldn't be Happenin,
Comin from Cleveland use to Keepin my Guard Up,
Pushin away an rippin Apart From,
Anything Close to Me, I aint Pose to Be,
The one that Hopes to See, a Girl by my Side,
Barryin my face in the paper puttin the World Aside,
An before I least expected Things to Change,
It was Too Late, I came to a new State,
But who Knew that I'd Stay?,
When the Choice was Givin,
All I could think about was ya Voice an Vivid,
Recollection of ya Face,
a Relashionship that'd I'd Wrestle to Embrace,
An Yo' it's gettin Emotional Now,
Ever since I saw this Angel Float from the Clouds,

(Verse 2)
Now I'm tryna think how Deep was our Bond,
Since with in a Week you was Gone,
It's hard to Sleep Even Yawn,
I can't believe that ya Gone,
Sittin here lookin at Pictures of Us,
Watchin them Glissin wit Love,
It feel like a 100 pounds Pickin em' Up,
I can't barely Face Them,
To see your smile an the Look in ya Eyes,
Where you appear happy but Crooked Inside,
I just wanna Let you Know,
it wasn't Best to Go,
I never thought of you Less then Gold,
You told me what we had was Incredible,
But Yo' I guess some people don't Mean what they Say,
I wish on Everything that you'd Stay,
But Apparently you don't See us that Way,
When I thought Everything was just Great,
Yo' I'll always be here, it's never too Late,
As long as your happy I'll never Complain,
An I want you to Know,
That I Love you to death an I'll never Let Go,

http://illestlyrics.com/board/some-of-m ... t2850.html

[Haz]

I Lyke Da Emotion Brought In Dis Piece Bou Ya
Gurl Dats How u Gotta Do It In Pieces Like This
Structure Nice .. Some Things could Be Related To So Thats Good It Came Out Strong Even Wit That
Concept

[Mac]

Word Man, Thanks For The Feed, Appreciate It.

Still Uppinn

[Momeijah]

No Problem With The Multis Or Flow, They Were Present n Consistent The Whole Way Thru. No Doubt it Was Filled With Emotion. 1 Of The Best i Seen From u...But Are u Gnna Finish it?

[complexity]

Awesome story man. Sorry about that shit.

This piece was really vivid/had good imagery.

"Barryin my face in the paper puttin the World Aside,
An before I least expected Things to Change,
It was Too Late, I came to a new State,
But who Knew that I'd Stay?"

Very descriptive. Which I like. I could relate in some sense to some of the story. Which is great.

Only a few lines weren't to good but most of it was consistent like someone else said up there. Good job.
8.9/10

[16 Micz]

pretty straight i liked the 2nd verse better it rhymed and flowed better pretty nice drop...cupid hit u with an arrow...lol 7.5/10